Layer Cake

A successful cocaine dealer, who has earned a respected place among England's Mafia elite, plans an early retirement from the business. However, big boss Jimmy Price hands down a tough assignment: find Charlotte Ryder, the missing rich princess daughter of Jimmy's old pal Edward, a powerful construction business player and gossip papers socialite. Complicating matters are two million pounds' worth of Grade A ecstasy, a brutal neo-Nazi sect and a whole series of double crossings. The title "LAYER CAKE" refers to the layers or levels anyone in business goes through in rising to the top. What is revealed is a modern underworld where the rules have changed. There are no 'codes', or 'families' and respect lasts as long as a line. Not knowing who he can trust, he has to use all his 'savvy', 'telling' and skills which make him one of the best, to escape his own. The ultimate last job, a love interest called Tammy, and an international drug ring threaten to draw him back into the 'cake mix'.-IMDB

131117

9.41p

Sunday

Ohh, settling down for the night. For sleep. It has been a very full and peaceful day. Just a little drama trying to get Mor out to work on the pool. And yet, he still ended doing it in the dark. For all his talk of not wanting drama and taking the peaceful, high road...he makes drama that way. Stand up and get it done. That's his problem. I have plenty, plenty of my own.

I watched videos during the night, dozing and waking back up to start watching where I left off. Slept in until eight. Wow. That is late for me. Drank my first mug downstairs visiting with Wheat. He came in late and we didn't get a chance to catch up. He covered the shift for one of the girls at work; she had a doctor’s appointment. I had my doubts about that. His manager ended up calling bullshit on it and that young lady will be pulling a close for him whenever he wants.

Made potato and regular waffles, sausage, and fried eggs. I had W full before he went to work. And I ate mine one at a time throughout the day. I wrote and blogged all morning. Watched a scary movie.

When M woke up, around one, I took a walk to the grocery.  Strict orders to buy healthy food. Almond milk, veggies, fruit, veggies, instead of pasta. Yams instead of potatoes. Brown instead of white rice. I held the party line. No beer, red wine instead. Just good food. Cost a little more but what is good health worth? Everyone in my family is worth it. No snacks to speak of. People will have to learn to appreciate meals. H came to pick me up. I was surprised to see she drove M's car. What’s up with that? I drove his car but she never does...until now. Turns out a tree limb fell across the drive, blocking her exit. When I got home, I and the Boys worked on it. M manned the reciprocal saw. D and I stacked wood against the fence and put twigs into the truck.

I did peach the five aquariums I brought home yesterday.

Dinner was fabulous. I picked up some thick porterhouse steaks. Covered them with Daddy Hinkle's marinade. M made the quinoa in the rice cooker with a can of beef broth. I steamed some Brussels sprouts. That was it. Some romain lettuce. Simper but so delish. M demonstrated how to cook the steaks the Alton Brown way. He heated the cast-iron on the grill to over four fifty. Then he put the hot pan of a super-hot burner for a minute on each side. Then back onto the grill, two minutes on each side. Mmmmm.  I drank bourbon and diet coke and threw the stick for the corgi. The weather was actually warm. Not hot, but warm. Probably the last day to wear shorts for a while.

Weather hit the north and east today. Tornadoes in Chicago.

Watched Denver v. Kansas City. The number one and two teams in the NFL. They are in the same division so no chance they will meet in the super bowl. e and visited in front of the game. A Sunday tradition all over America. Then I came to bed and surfed the net, looking at cooking vids on YT, Maangcih cooking Korean food. She did most of her work on a portable stove, a butane model then I looked at stoves on Amazon for a while. I'll stick with the ones. I have on my wish list Butane is harder to get than propane. And I really do want to make my own alcohol stove. Run it and me off everclear. If it spills it won't cause a mess.

I say i like to camp but I didn’t' get out in the spring and Fall is almost over. I doubt I'll get to camp. Why do I act like I like to, if I did I would be out there. I just like to collect camping junk. Don’t get me started about how greedy I am.

The truth of the matter is I like to stay at home. Camping comes n second to sleeping in my bed and eating food I make in my kitchen. I can walk around the neighborhood. And when I get bored, there are parks all over the place Hell, just head out the door and cut a chogie. Just get to steppin'.

No, I’m a hoe body.

I am idle.

Lazy.

Happy as shit.

Tell the truth, that is why p [people go camping, to get away from home. To have an excuse to not worry about chores and home repairs. I can forget just fine where I'm at. And I can spend my money on steaks and renting movies.

Okay, I could ramble longer than anyone would want to pay attention to it so I will slow my roll and read a book.

131118

9:50p

Monday night

Shutting down for the day. I know it will be a while. I have a big day at work tomorrow. Not smart to talk about work on social media, so I won't but it is going to be stressful, more so than usual. Having an audit. Never an easy thing. Enough said about that. I have so much more to think about. Personal stuff.

Today I found another YT channel. A gardening site. I have been on the fringes with my interest in aquaponics. Luck for me, indoor growing is becoming more mainstream. Hydroponics isn't just for pot anymore. Imagine things working in reverse. A technolgy exploited for drugs i s now become mainstream. I would rather have a nice heirloom tomato out of season than a joint. Can't go to jail or lose your house over a tomato. And it eats so much better than a joint. Hardy har har.

Mor is a budding gardener. He has invested in his own raised bed outside his window. He doesn’t' have anything growing, and now he'll have to wait until spring, but he has the bug. Bud. Bug. Gardening humor. Hey, gardeners are nerds. Farmers are real men. Paul Harvey writes essays about them. It will jerk a tear right out your eye. But a gardener, well, it's pretty fucking nerdy.

I say that and I think back to my grandparents. They were a generation off the farm. Raised on the farm then moving to the city or town or one-horse village to earn a living. My grandparents brought their love for farming with them. I think it was just a way of life for them. So they didn’t have a hen house, but they did raise a few banty chickens in the back corner. Maybe a rabbit or two. And they had a garden. Enough to piddle with. Food...fresh veggies during the summer. And they canned some of it. And you could go out to a real farm and pick veggies yourself and bring them home to eat your fill and can the rest. A porch was an important part of their house. It was a cool place to sleep during the summer. A bed on the porch was normal. And it was full of plants. Fuller during the winter when all the pots that could fit were brought inside. And in every nook and cranny, ball jars of veggies where kept. No, the porch was a very important room in their house I would love to have a house with more porch than indoors. I want to thank them for bringing the agrarian spirit with them, and showing it to me. I have been sitting here feeling like I am missing out I've mentioned that I think I want to camp, but I must not, because I never go camping. I just collect camping gear and watch YT videos on camping. I am a homebody. No two ways about it. I like to stay put. Not that anyone would want to find me, but if you did, you know where I'd be: at my house. So it hit me. I need to give up this wander lust and embrace my hominess. I need to start growing things here at my house. By gawd, I'm planting a seed tomorrow come hell or high water. I am going to start a new phase, turn over a new leaf to be corny. Just wait, you'll see. I will put a seed in dirt tomorrow.

I'm not bull shitting.

I don’t' think H will let me have rabbits but I can get to work on those beneficial insects. Maybe a canary. A mouse. There is nothing stopping me but bone laziness from have a fish tank fight this very moment. Nope, just bone laziness.

And if I start that tank of fish, minnows, minnows would be fine, then I can turn my laziness to idleness, and watch my tank of fish and do nothing as opposed dot just doing nothing. It’s a thin line but so is a pubic hair.

Great day. Woke up, watched the gardener do his thing. Chickens are also his thing. Made breakfast for a coworker and myself. A potato waffle for him, blueberry wall nut for me. I put honey instead of syrup on mine so it would be easier to take and eat at my desk. I also gave the coworker a couple of leftover blueberry muffins and some cranberry juice. I took iced coffee for myself. Made us both a bbq pork sammie out of leftovers. I took some dark chocolate to stash in my desk along with a couple of packs of gum for me and my assistant to enjoy. She likes gum almost as much as she does Baylor. She's a fine person, my Head. Let's not get too personal here.

Back to the gardening. Well lucky for me, this YT gardener with the chickens also keeps an indoor garden. With reflective coverings on the walls and grow lights everywhere. He isn't a doper. He is using it to grow mangos and peppers and fresh herbs to cook with. Besides the gardening videos, he also does a few cooking demonstrations. He must be a bachelor because his food is simple, nothing wrong with that.

I can talk abut some simple food we enjoyed tonight. Mor pointed out that it is a good practice to eat a cup of soup or a salad before dinner to get full faster. I had some red beans with lots of hotsauce. He ate a fairly big bowl of beans and brown rice. Wheat even ate a bowl. I had a salad. Made some homemade thousand island, just to get the jar out of the 'fringe. I had about an inch of Better Maid salad dressing left. I put some ketchup and sweet relish in with some fat free half and half. That was the base. Then I sprinkled quite a few seasonings in, cyanine, garlic, onion, black pepper, ....I forget what else. I just started grabbing bottles and hhaking a little in.

H had baked some chicken and she used a lot of those same spices; to coat the chick n thighs. Baked up really nice. The chicken and some beets were all we needed.

We boiled p the rest of the chicken thighs. I took the chicken out and put a cup of barley in and while it cooked for forty five minutes. Simmering.  I sautéed some veggies to add back in. Onion, carrot, red and yellow bell peppers. Jalapeno. Added garlic and some mushrooms I sautéed in butter back in. Diced the chicken and put it in with the veggies. By the time the barley was cooked, the veggies were roasted and toasted and full of that chicken flavor. I sneaked in a cup of cooked spinach I found in the fridge. Don’t' tell.

10:37p...break to say good night to W. He stopped by, thinking we'll miss each other tomorrow morning He'll get up and see me off in the mornings. I appreciate that quite a bit. He is doing way better. He likes his job. He likes the money it brings his way, and surprisingly, he likes saving it. Likes watching the bank account grow. Good for him. He congratulated me on my aquarium find. We want to raise some frogs. So, how cool is that. He is such a good boy but he is like everyone else in that he wants what he wants. And you got to be careful what you ask for, you might just get it. He tried a pretty health bowl of my chicken barley soup. It needed salt, but once that was added it age damned good. Yes it did. I tried some of it myself. Just a spoon or two. Mmmmm.

I got the best pickled peppers from my mom. Not hot but really well done, nice and sweet. With a quirky name: winkles or some such shit I put some of my canned Serrano in the jar yesterday, I have almost finished the winkles. I get inspired tonight to add some of the leftover beets to fill it back up. I'll let you know how it works out but I have no doubt it will be a spicy, tasty treat. Make me a bologna sammie, woman, and dont forget the wiggles!!!

I didn't get to exercise today. Had to get a haircut instead. I'd let my hair grow until I stepped on it. I just don’t give two shits. Actually, I like the crazy way I look when I wake up. I don’t comb my hair after I shower on the weekends so it can just go crazy as hell. But Ill shave and wear clothes that match and don’t' have holes tomorrow. Put on the dog. But then its back to dressing by putting on the next article of clothing in reach. The first pair of pants with the first shirt with the first tie. Then I pick out the appropriate shoes.

I love being fifty, it just doesn't matter. If I did get a position of authority, I would buy a wardrobe to match but I could get six white shirts and three pairs of kakis. No reason to have to think about what one is wearing for the day. 

I figure I'll stop rambling when H and the dogs come up. Where the hell are they? I bet this is running a little long.

If I can generate some momentum growing indoors, I might even give up the closet in the bathroom, not nine, but the one over the stairs. It is full of old clothes. About sixteen boxes of shit I don't wear. I would grow in the closet for no other reason than it is in such close proximity to where I hand out. It would be easy to take care of. My mom said that it helps to keep plants tighter because if you space them out, one is sure to be forgotten.

Funny, this house use to be a pot grow house. You can still see the security outside and the extra outlets and AC in the garage. Well, those days are over but they gave me a head start if I want to make a go of an indoor garden. Thanks Biker pot grower Dudes. I'll take it from here. My salsa will blow your mind better than any mary=hew=anna.  You’re talking to the ArlingtonTexican!

I thought I heard H but she just used the facilities and went back down stairs.

Mor is stirring up shit on the social media sites. He bashed Wal-Mart for actually promoting the fact that the employees are helping out other employees by having a food drive. Pay your fucking workers! r have it worse than the welfare poor. And the middle class are next in line. they live well but they can’t move up or are always in danger of losing it all, because you have to be welfare poor to get any assistance The system doesn’t' add to what you have it. Only for those that have nothing it’s no picnic being on welfare, don’t get me wrong. But you qualify more healthcare than the working poor. Bash Obama care all you want but it's the equivalent to making all people who drive have collision insurance When someone has an accident and doesn’t' have insurance we all end up paying for it and when someone who doesn't have healthcare gets sick, what care they do get has to be made up for by the rest of us. I have to stop right here talking about healthcare because it make me sick to my stomach to whore our ...no, I'll stop right there, least I offend. It's just a sorry situation all the way around.

Breath in, breath out.

Time for this cowboy to read himself to sleep.

131119

6:28a

Tuesday morning

Haven't written standing up at the kitchen counter in a while. I am waiting for the coffee to brew so I can have my first mug. I'm taking my mug black lately. No to be austere but to taste the coffee. I'll get bored of the rich bitterness and go back to adding something to 'lighten it up'. But isn't the bold flavor of coffee just grand, and nothing else does it. Tea tries but all the tea I've ever had is weak in comparison

The dogs have had a treat, which they have to share, one broken in half. Then they go out. Once the coffee is on, I get a glass of water and take my blood pressure medicine and a fish oil capsule. This morning I'm adding another heart-healthy habit. Cooking oatmeal. H has been asking for me to make some. So, I put two cups of water and one cup of oats in a pan, brought it to a boil, just two seconds ago, and turned it down to simmer. It will be waiting for me when I come back down after my shower. I started to make it with skim milk and caught myself, remembering H's intolerance for all things dairy.

The morning has a chill to it. I will need to go back to wearing my thick robe of a morning before long. Today, a hoodie is more than enough.

There is at least a mugs worth of coffee, I'll move this party back upstairs, get back under the covers.

6.42a...Much more comfortable. The morning is still a shadow through the balcony doors. Like me, just waking up. I nuke my mug to give it a magma hot start; it will cool by the time I sip it down. Don’t' you ate hot coffee? Not everybody odes. My dear mother lets hers cool. That is as queer as Mor putting pancakes into the frig before eating them. This is a sign of broken people.

5.45 the alarm went off, Head stirred and farted, and I turned off the alarm. I had an audiobook looping, listening through headphones. Switched it to a YT vid for some meditation music. I was right to pick first thing in the morning to meditate. When you are just awake, you won't fall asleep as easy. You can meditate to fall asleep at night, but you will fall asleep. You will 'transcend', which seems to be the goal of mediation. Well, I don't think I transcended this morning. I mediated For Almost half an hour. So many thoughts bombarding me. I retaliated by chanting on 'all those thoughts' trying to turn the tables, get the upper hand, and become the observer. Ehh.  It kinda worked.

I thought about lots of things. The audit today. Scratching His back. A dream I had last night about a dog that kept trying to attack me. I was out on a walk and it kept sneaking up behind me and it was my own little dog that warned me. I was able to fight the big dog off and eventually maser it. I had it on a leash before it was all over. Some inspirational writings I found on the web and how I should share them with W. He could set in my big leather chair and I could project the website with the writing onto the TV. I could sit right where I am, propped up in bed.

College. Wheat was anxious to register. He got on line and at first we almost had a family fight trying to figure out why there were so few courses offered and the only labs for the biology class he wanted were during the lecture? Weird. Turns out he had selected only a.m. courses. Once he selected 'all' he had plenty of options. He decided to take MW so he could be available to work coupon Tuesday at Popeye’s

Jobs. Mor is taking Unky Mike up on his offer to see if there are any other position, full time, with his work. Mor likes the job. It will be hard for him to give up his stocking job but he wants to learn more about the inventory management side of the business.

And more work. H is launching her website today. Mor has been working with her to take photos, they went to places in Arlington last week, and put them up on the site. It is the last step to finishing it. Isn't that something?

Cameras. Mor wants a new camera but the new ones, the compact models, are all a grand. He sees he can buy a professioanl model, albeit bulkier, for half that. I seem to be, for all appearances, trapped in a writing rhythm where I put a clause in the middle of my sentences. Please, if you would, kill me.

Typical Mor, he was evaluating my camera equipment. All shit. Just shit. He would do me the favor of selling my micro lens, for taking pics of stuff close up. He would buy a macro lens for H. She could then get wide-angle picks of houses. She looks at big things in her work. I look at small thing. I would just as soon keep the lens I have. Thank you very much. Mor...He would throw out everyone else’s toothbrush because why keep them around, he's not using them. It's the dark side to the Machen gene. Me. Me. Me.

H has turned over and is checking her social media and devotionals. We all have our morning routines. Why doesn’t she piss first? Elephant bladder ism.

131121

6:42a

Thursday morning

Time to catch up.

Audit went way better than expected. Only ones minor finding but more importantly is what the auditor didn't pick up on.

The down side is that with all the backslapping the bosses were doing with each other, not one fell on any of my vertebrae. Ain't that a bitch? One glancing blow did catch me on my pride. Right after the audit they pulled me in and accused me of fraud. Fraud! They made out clear they wouldn't tolerate any hint, however teeny tiny, so they would destroy all the evidence and move on. Let's never speak of it again. About some dumb mother fuckers!

Well, the family sans Mor almost accomplished our goal of getting kicked out of Applebee’s. We ate and drank all the gift cards we could still some left so a return trip is inevitable. Wheat generously treated us to ice cream afterward. Head stayed to watch The Voice. Wheat drove and I held H cone in one hand, my Sunday in the other, and set W on the seat.

"Wheat, I'd u get nuts on your Sunday?"

"No."

"You do now!"

"Aww man, move it!"

"My hands are full. You reach down there."

"No way!"

"Then we have a standoff. What are u bitching about, my nuts are the ones freezing..."

I ate my ice cream in bed, watching videos. Fighting pinto off, but I did let him lick the container when I finished.

Woke up a little hung-over and a lot bloated. Pissed off and feeling sour all day. Perked up after going walking with H and M.

Tostados and enchiladas for dinner.

WH called to confirm plans for Saturday. Would be great to start a new adventure but one can't get one's hopes too high. Looking forward to finding out to be way or the other if there is an opportunity to step out on my own again.

Well, today is my Friday. Definitely calling in sick tomorrow. Looking at a short week for thanksgiving next week. And taking a vacation day a week from Monday. That will make three short weeks in a row.

M drove to Austin to see a documentary that wasn't playing here. Stayed with granny and pa. But try and get him to shut the microwave door, forget about it.

Watched some of The Xfactor with H. Then Spurs v. Celtics with M. Gave W a spiral I had for next semester's classes. He liked it. Bed. Now. Done.

Tamara (2005)

Tamara is a girl who didn't quite fit in. Tamara is constantly picked on and when a couple of friends plays a joke on Tamara, it leads to her death. The friends bury her tries to make it seem that Tamara ran away. But all is not forgotten. Tamara returns as a sexy seductress and plans her revenge. (due to witchcraft). Well like they say: Karma's a bitch.-IMDB

I had to turn my head when she mind controlled the visual aide to take off his ear, tongue, and eye, with a box cutter....hear not evil, see no evil...

Couldn't find my comical animals file so I went with Helen M.

131116

9:45pm

Saturday

I am so fucking greedy. I know inside I want things, and more things. I want financial security. I want perfect health. I want to be loved. I am so fucking greedy.

And I think being cheap is somehow going to make up for wanting all those things. And that a steady paycheck will get me financial security. And that taking a walk and eating chicken breasts will guarantee good health. And that loving people who love me back will make me feel loved. I am so fucking stupid.

I need to the shower at the moment but I will come back to this. It's the weekend I can stay up as late as I want. Calvin, of Calvin and Hobbs, said Sundays sucked because it’s not a day off if u have to take a shower and go to bed early.  I could go to bed dirty but I won't. My grandmother taught me to never go to bed dirty. You won't sleep good/well. She always smelled like Noxzema when she went to bed...

10:00p

Back.

Less rage. Much less self-deprecation.

Pinto is herewith me in bed, We are both doing our own versions of the bedtime ritual ...

What a fucking...blessing.

Something happened when H got involved, helping P make his bed. She put him up under her arm when I would prefer him to sleep down on the foot of the bed. But I can 'prefer' in one hand and 'shit' in the other and guess which hand would fill up first?

Rituals. That is hers and his. Mine is to put my four pillows up against the wall to lean against, and cover up with my ...one of my two extra blankets. I prefer to sleep on one blanket and cover up with the other. Just as soon not get under the sheet and comforter. My grandmother made the blankets, so you know. Out of old tee-shirts. The tee-shirts mean something because I use to wear them and the blanket...blanket means twice as much because she made it. I probably have half a dozen. I should get them out and take pics for memories sake.

I should take a picture of most the shit I have and then give it away.

You'll have to forgive me. I am feeling it. Feeling the weakness of being needy and feeling the guilt of privilege. I have so, so much. I know that.

When I clear my mind, I am okay with it, and happy, and content, and generous. If you want it, I'll give it to you. If I can't, then that thin owns me instead of the other way around.

Hey, the nook can play music   while I write. I'm using Google docs, writing to the cloud. I like the way that sounds. It makes it seem so poetic. The internet is a wonderful thing.

While I'm thinking about poverty and the subject of the internet came up, I have a thought. When I read about idleness, it became clear that it is a rare commodity

My gawd, this Guy Clark Jr. is quite the musician. Loving what he's laying down.

Any who...Poverty. Internet. Idleness. Hard to come by. Those that can enjoy it have money. A few starving artists. But it’s hard to be creative when your unemployed and your kids are hungry. the internet wont feed the babies but for so little, you can get on the internet and get a world of information. Information of how to feed your babies maybe. How to find a job. How to improve your reading or  math skills.  Or access government or charitable sites. If you don't have even a an old computer go to the library. But if you can’t get to a library, if your too dirty or too far away or too hungry, well, the internet isn't going to do you any good.

The poor we will always have with us. -Jesus

I am proud of myself. I posted on all my blogs today. More than that, I sorted files so I could do it faster the next time. I liked editing this here journal and posting it. That was a rewarding experience.

I don't even care if anybody reads it. I see my blogs like my journals. They may never get read but I still write them. I know there are a few family and coworkers who look at some of the stuff. Content. You got to build content. And experience. You got to get comfortable with the medium. Time well spent. It took me until noon.

Then I took a little walk. I headed out to walk to the store, had a bag to carry my stuff back with me. But then I saw some aquariums in someone’s yard, put out for someone to take. So I hightailed it home and got the truck. Picked up half a dozen aquariums of various sizes on the way to the grocery store. They weren’t used for fish, I am pretty sure. Reptiles I think. I will bleach them out tomorrow and add them to the collection. Sooner or later I'm going to need something to live in them. Fish, plants, and or animals. This morning I watched vids on raising earthworms, which got me into other beneficial insects. Nematodes. Lady Bugs. Praying mantis. I go to  get some praying mantis. And they need flies to eat. So I watched vids on raising flies. People who raise frogs need wingless flies to feed them. Wheat wants frogs. I see a thread. I will put those tanks to good use.

I am so glad I got cleaned up. I feel fresh and clean. Can't sleep with an itchy butt.

Head is beside me, the light from her tablet shining in her face. I have a Bluetooth keyboard on a clipboard in my lap, my tablet beside me. We both have headphones in. She is just laughing. She read ...showed me a cartoon Jose made of Brianna. There is an app for making cartoons with avatars. His usually involve farts. Farts are funny.

Dinner was simple, just like the evening. . Dean worked the late shift. He isn't home yet. He'll be wiped when he does. Just enough energy to change clothes and grind on his dallies for WoW. Hey, it keeps him engaged. I'm a big fan of video games for the young people.

I picked up the diet coke, bread, lettuce, and red box video I went to the store for. also picked up an avocado, 70 percent chocolate bars, hot Cheetos, jalapeno potato chips, bacon and sausage. All specials. I got my ass chewed for buying Hawaiian rolls, should of gotten whole wheat bread. And the chocolate had enough cocoa but it had peppermint in it, unnecessary sugar. Mia Copa, mia Copa.. I almost thought ice cream, Blue Belle was on sale but that would of been a fucking catastrophe. Ice cream is the worst food for two reasons., no nutritional value and it hurts Head's tummy. She is lactose something. I used the diet cola to make a bourbon and coke. The bacon and rolls to make club sammies. While the bacon cooked, I watched a movie with H. Took the sammies downstairs to watch Baylor v. Tech. It was a shootout. Almost a hundred points in ...on the scoreboard by the end of the third quarter. It gave me and Mor a chance to visit. We talked nutrition. Tim and Eric’s new show, Bedtime Stories. Zach G. is in it too. We looked at cameras, he's in the market. And we both surfed redditt and he introduced me to another site like it, . I left him after watching some Always Sunny in Philadelphia to practice on his banjo.

Visited with Head a few minutes. She was reading about a homeless man and she saw his faith in God as a miracle, I just felt uncomfortable. Hence the rant nonbeing a needy fuck. It makes me feel helpless knowing people are struggling. But they are struggling whether I think about them or nt. I could give everything I have away and live a life of poverty but it wouldn’t solve the problem. It would help some out.

A wealthy man wanted to do something for Mother Theresa, something for her for all she has down for so many. He asked her what she wanted and this is what she said. Get up at four in the morning and go out in the dark and find someone who is afraid and unloved and make them feel safe and loved. Can't write a check for that.

H is writing a devotional to a friend (You!). She should have wings. She cares and she does something about it. I am glad she’s my friend too.

I downloaded my music that starts with 'A' onto the nook, and there is heavy metal I didn't know I had. I do not need one of those music services. H, M, and W pay ten bucks a month each for music on demand. I have more than I can ever listen through. Not a big music fan.

Note: get a good, why would I get a bad one?, recipe for Green goddess salad dressing.

I type like I fuck, hard. Bang those keys. H was commenting...on my typing, not my fucking...sigh.

So peaceful here in the dark. Fan droning in the background. the neighbors porch light shines across the balcony, the sheers taking a little of the light. I love our house. Not the physical structure, the way we've organized the space inside. it’s very, very comfortable. If you are looking forward to a vacation, you need to change the way you live.

Ohh my lord, the worst smell.   Head fessed up, blaming he beans. Ice-cream would of killed us both. She would of exploded and I would of suffocated.

Just the sign of a healthy metabolism. Nothing to be ashamed of.

Thirty-eight Special singing 'Wild Eyed Southern Boys'. Blast form my misbegotten youth. About the time I met H, as a matter of fact.

I stopped at two bourbon and cokes. the new house rule is one is okay, two is a special occasion, and no body of the world needs three of anything. so, I'm drinking the rest of the diet coke plain. Could only manage half a bottle but for less than a dollar, I'm not losing any money. Maybe W will drink  the rest while he plays Wow. I know M will be up all night. He slept until two in the afternoon. I'm afraid he's a vampire.

Okay, enough chit chat...I have a book to read. Funny that, it’s not a book. It’s an eBook but that doesn't matter either. Should I call it a novel.?

Oh, before I close, I followed a new site on reditt, about professional cooking. Chefs like to show off their knifes. there seems to be a lot of shit about the plastic wrap dispenser. It’s always fucking up or they are fucking with it. And they leave each other lots of notes. And they clean. Lots of pride from cleaning burned pots, greasy hoods, ....And they like to show burns and cuts. Gross as shit. And I learned when you quit at a restaurant, they cover you in whipped cream and or flour your last night. And they call their stations, battlestations, like the nerds refer to their computers.

Okay, now I can move on. I'll be back. Not to worry.

131117

8:03a

Sunday

Instant pudding woke up and off to the crapper first thing.

Man, unusual for me to wake up this late. The sun is so bright. It's warm outside already. Yesterday it was shorts and tee-shirt weather when I took my walk.

I did wake up twice in the night. Pinto needed out. The first time watching Quincy M.E. . the second time watching a Korean movie called Antarctic Journal until I fell back asleep.  Although I will argue, watching a movie subtitles is closer to reading.

Not that any of that is noteworthy. What is, is head making coffee she never does. I feel like I'm on holiday. In really should take my need the write and work on some fiction. There is a third secret blog posts I'm thinking of posting w with some of my writing. Right now I'm in the city conceptual stage. Too early to commit to. Another Concept in mind is to translate memorable texts. I usually put out, and sometimes receive back, some very witty lines. Great text wit should not be wasted. Text wit. Twit. Too bad that term has been wasted on that group texting thing, twitter.

H tells me wheat is up. Going into work at eleven. I will send him off with a waffle and sausage breakfast. Although I had nightmares from worrying about the lack of nutritional value in waffles. Thinking up ways to make them healthy, not the waffles but the people who eat them. Add whole wheat, wheat germ, peanut butter, bananas, a and blueberry syrup. I saved the juice from canned blueberries I made yesterday.no way was in ongoing to pit that nectar down the sink. I will mix it in with some syrup and put it on waffles with blueberry cranrasians and walnuts mixed in.

 I have some bacon left over from last night's club Sammie's. I could crumble some into one of those peanut butter and banana jobs, voilà, The Elvis.

"Thank u very much."

"Thank u very much."

"No one can make waffles like Mama. Waffles and hand jobs were Mama's specialty. I had a thousand of each and I would give a million dollars and a Cadillac for one more. I miss u Mama!"

"Thank u very much."

I will go get a mug and start the sausage. 

(Funny, that’s what Elvis’ mama often said!)

8:48a

Having my mug visiting with wheat. He is updating his music playlists and wants my opinion. He downloads from the on demand music service mentioned earlier. He uses his tablet as a juke box in his car. He has an adapter to hook the tablet to the cassette player. Poor people have poor ways.

①②③✴✳✖↕↗➡‼♠♥

Found a second page of symbols when I held down to the :-) -s.

Wheat: could u live like the Amish without the electronics?

Keep in mind he's got his tablet hooked up to his compute, computer with two monitors.

I said I could, if I had books to read and an instrument to play (badly) and a farm to attend to.

Wheat said he could too. 

"Miranda" (2009)

"Miranda (Miranda Hart) is 6 feet 1 inch (1.85 m) tall and gets called 'Sir' once too often. She has never fit in with her old boarding school friends, Tilly (Sally Phillips) and Fanny (Katy Wix), and finds social situations awkward, especially around men. She is a constant disappointment to her mother Penny (Patricia Hodge), who is desperate for her to get a proper job and a husband. Although Miranda owns and lives above her own joke shop, she lacks any real capacity for business, so it is managed by her childhood friend Stevie Sutton (Sarah Hadland). The restaurant next door is run by Clive (James Holmes), who also works as a waiter. He has employed a chef - Gary Preston (Tom Ellis), a university friend whom Miranda fancies. The various episodes revolve around this set-up."imdb.com-

This is her best friend and the manager of her joke shop, Miranda lives above the shop. In every episode her friend hold up this poster and sings these lines. I have started singing them spontaneously throughout the day.

Just a sample of Miranda's brand of humor. God loves a big girl.

Well, Hello.

Yep.

It's been quite a while. 

It is all about the cycle of the seasons. Let me explain. During the heat of summer, I am on the porch, in the pool. In the mild spring and fall I like to hang out in the Lab. Now that's it turning cold, I am back in the office, aka The Tower. 

I'm back.

And I am trying out a new approach. I have a tablet now. So, I can journal on the 'cloud' and then bring my thoughts here. This is The Dump. I plan on putting the weeks journal up and spicing it up with pictures.   My intent is to cut and paste from here, my secret account, to my personal account, where my family, friends, and acquaintances can see.  Okay, family and acquaintances, I don't have any friends. But if I did....

131113 (aka November 13, 2013)

6.42a

Good morning. Having some challenges setting myself up this morning. Trying to get my pocket clipboard organized to hold the tablet and all the accessories.

All the while my coffee getting colder and colder. The morning is cold. Too cold to stand on the bare floor without house shoe for very long. Those without house shoes can put on a pair of socks. I got up and started the coffee when the alarm went off. The dogs prompted me, wanting a treat. They are swelling up like hogs so they have to split a treat now. 

And I am showing great restraint on giving scraps to them when cooking. I don't want to feed them to death. If they have a treat, they will go outside, so they do their thing outside while I make the coffee. Sometimes I wait for that first, dark cup to brew, but not this morning. I choose to get back under the covers, the Warm covers and meditate. Positive affirmations So uplifting I must share with Dean and Head.

and that is the biggest....the highlight of my day. I coaxed Wheat to sit with me and I shared the story of the Vlog brothers with him. And we watched a CrashCourse in biology. He said he had heard others talking about it when he was at community college. He really liked BrainScoop. He is even thinking about making the Fields museum in Chicago his destination  for his Granny Trip. Granny trip =graduation gift form grandparents.

This coffee is different. I didn't use creamer, but fat free half-n=half with hot chocolate mix. Mmmmmm.

That brings me onto another subject. Health. Improving health. Improving health as a family. Head went to the doctor and was borderline everything. Specifically high blood pressure and diabeties. So, High exercise, low fat, no sugar =diet. Head is giving up sugar to go with her syrupy vanilla caramel creamer. She is exercising. Yesterday made two days in a row. Dean ...Wheat and I also have  two days of exercise on the books. Wheat and i danced to the Wii. The cold is moving our activities indoors but Head likes using the stationary bike out in the garage and now that Wheat has set up the Wi, will there is another option.

Heads text just dinged, MorMor making arrangements for his flight in today. He has had quite the adventure. We are all anxious to hear the details. All bout D.C. All bout Philly. All bout Nicole especially.

MorMor is on the train to B Baltimore to catch his flight. I think Granny got her wish, the trip has changed his life. For the better. No Machen Man can star single forever. He is a late, late, late bloomer. But that just makes him a gig, bigger, biggest prize. Right ladies?

Yes, the Machen's had a great day yesterday, I thought about this when I was sitting in the living room thinking about MorMor finding excitement on his trip, Head was writing a devotional on  about the meaning of life, and Wheat was working on his level  90 WoW character.

We are moving forward for the better.  And I am holding my own at work and looking forward to meeting with Walt to possibly start some new adventure.

I spent some time in The Tower last night. I ham ...am sharing my Battle Station with Head. No problem. We never want to use it at the same time. She is on it all day and like I said, last night was the first time I'd been on it in a while. I lie the way she has it set up, bringing her printer up. I don't want to print, but I did use the automatic feeding scanner to digitize some of my sketches. I now have something to Blog. The VLOGBROTHERS inspired me to update my Blog. Is there a Vlog in my future? ??? Maybe.

Pudding Dump

131114

7.11a

What have you done today to feel proud?

That is from the BBC hit Miranda. I love her! She is a modern Lucille Ball.

And I love the nooks feature of adding notes. With the kindle, I was introduced to the joy of an immediate dictionary, advancing to the highlight feature to make lists of vocabulary words and memorable quotes. The n has the option to instantly Google and now I am loving the notes feature. I can journal as I read. My idea is to make a weekly blog out of this here Google docs journal and book notes.

Whudttfp?

I do not have anything as valuable to contribute as say, the VLOGBROTHERS do, but maybe, just maybe, if I start using the medium, it will grow into something. I think how their personal blogs are now a part of an huge information network.

It has gotten chilly. We don't turn on the heater for the first frost. It makes the shift in weather seem more dramatic.  This is Texas so the weather will be back in the eighties by the weekend. But it is nice to sleep in your own zone of warmth. You can't heat the other whole bed, which is what it feels like your body, and the body of the person next to you, does on hot summer nights. It is all u  can do to maintain the cocoon of warmth for your person. If u shift out of the zone u quickly retreat back. And if u get too warm, then I can shift out of the zone to use the cool sheets to bring the temp back to perfect.

So, thinking it out, I can post the raw journal on my anonymous account and then cut and paste the best parts over to one of my personal blogs.  I have started dong that with my sketches.   I crop out the naughty bits to post portraits that won't offend.

Whydttfp?

Quite a bit and its only 7.31...and that's pudding time!!!

Hey...I can make pudding and write!!

Life hack...tried drinking coffee before my nap and the caffeine kicked in so I wasn't as groggy.

Lh...eating an orange does perk u up. It’s the smell. Like eating a mint or chewing mint gum.

I put link sausages in the oven while I made coffee. I expect them to be ready to make a takeaway breakfast after my shower.

131115

5.14a

Friday

Awake before the alarm. A gift of time...I choose to spend the time reading and writing. I did it impossible to separate one from the other. When I read I must write. My excitement...over the notes feature of the nook is solid evidence supporting my need to document my thoughts when reading something somebody else wrote...

This morning my mind is on Idleness. Imagine that.

The subject came up in the audio book I has started, trying to be able dad back to sleep. One of the dogs woke me...no, I was awake groggily jacking off, but the dog got me out of bed.

Tue long and short of it is I am awake and not concerned about it in the least...no more than revealing I masturbated. Both can be seen as a blessing rather than a burden. My lover doesn't mind if I spill my seed. Who else should be concerned.

The audio book was The Moving Finger by Agatha Christie. The third in the Marple Series. The benefit of idleness was brought up.

Worth a Google.

Note...someday nook and Google will require footnotes.

I like  to start with images of a subject I've chooses to browse. I look at the pictures and use them to find interesting sites to read. The first pic was of an engraving, from a series done in London in 1890 to enforce the virtues of work.   Next, several pics of young girls and androgynous young men lazing about. Then a classic rubenesque nude. 

Then a pen and ink off an oriental studying. Close to what started the search, the book mentioned a painting of an old Asian playing cat's cradle under a tree. Moving on, I found a quote over a picture of a sweatshop. The quote was by Bertrand Russell.

 I clicked on it to find his speech on idleness. This passage appealed to me...

First of all: what is work? Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relatively to other such matter; second, telling other people to do so.

I will hopefully come back and make a study of the entire speech someday. I bookmarked it and took a break to put this together...now back to o look at more pics...

...7.07a..many pics, YouTube vids, and movie trailers later. I have one more interest to add to my journal along with a movie to my Hulu que...Jane Austen.  The movie is Miss Austen. Some quote able quotes...

her last words, when asked by her sister Cassandra if there was anything she wanted] Nothing, but death.

[when asked why her heroines always flawed] Pictures of perfection make me sick and wicked.

One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

I might even read Pride and Prejudice...

Pudding break....

I must turn the bathroom heater on even before making coffee...it melts the pudding. Conversely, a cold toilet seat sets the pudding like granite.

Have to brag on wheat. He sat his GED yesterday. No. 3.…this time on his own dime. Win or lose he is moving forward, ever forward. Couldn't be prouder.

Made the most wonderful veggie soup.   I had...no, that sounds dictatorial. Head cut up a roast and browned it in oil before putting it in the slow cooker. I know she added onion but not sure how she spiced it. The meat was tender when I came home. All I had to do was chop and boil carrots and potatoes. Sautéed more onion, a medley of peppers, mushroom and garlic.

Run and get back under the covers...shushed for being loud. A hug for head and pinto...

Drained the tubers. Back in the pan with canned corn, peas, green beans, and stewed tomatoes. Made a broth out of canned cream of mushroom and tomato soups with vegetable juice to thin it out. In go the waited veggies. Done. Served to an appreciative family. I had a pan of buttermilk cornbread to go with. With what? Thee soup, silly!

Damned fine meal. Damned fine.

Watched Rockets v. Nets wit MorMor. Talked about living the perfect life. Bottom line, who knows what that is? An exciting basketball game fizzled out into foul ball. M reminded me bball is a game on f percentages more than most other sports. I enjoy watching with him because he keeps up with the players. He is my personal color man.

7.31a...time to gee cleaned up and get going. I do love my grooming routine. I found a lady on YouTube this morning who used a bath as a way to life coach. Unfortunately she also coached women on how to pee in public so I chose not to subscribe. If for no other reason than t not be exposed to all of the other you bids on woken, usually drunk, often Russian, pissing in public.

I'm off....

My Dad in front of the Capital in Austin with The Kinkster. Kinky Friedman. If you don't know who he is, it's worth a Google.