Hemlock Grove 2013

A teenage girl is brutally murdered, sparking a hunt for her killer. But in a town where everyone hides a secret, will they find the monster among them?

Me: Love it!

And no, I will not marry it.

140127

8:38pm

Monday night.

Here in Our room. In the recliner.

Watching a new Netflix series called 'Hemlock Grove'.

I spent time on the exercise bike. Spent time in the kitchen. Making ssssstir fry. Although I couldn't cook outside on the wok, I did a great job, crunchy veggies as proof positive.

Spent time with Mor. He has done a mathematical analysis as to whether it is beneficial to upgrade a character he plays a lot. It isn't but the masses will upgrade because it is the popular thing to do.

Head was working hard on her website. She is determined to make a go of it. She is not going to go with Ejhn y Hj, fiy. She is going to make it on her own.

9:30pm

I guess I kind of like this show, I always have liked werewolf stores from Lon Chaney right up thru

American Werewolf in London'. But if this goes 'Twilight' on me, so helm me,

I am too entranced to focus on writing.

I managed to put together a tolerable, no, more than tolerable, an enjoyable day.

I had a couple of major successes n the food front. This morning I woke up late but got to the kitchen on time to make waffles for Jeremy and Dean. Peanut butter and honey. I split a bologna and cheddar on whet with lots of mustard with Dean. Finished filling his bag with a large Capri sun, a banana, and a protein bar. And a bottle of water. I figured that would get him through the day, a day that included work and school.

At school, he interacted with some new folks, two people asked him to help them in the computer lab. And his study buddy set up a time to work on the next assignment. He had been concerned about not connecting, but as he put it, he figured it out himself.

Now who wouldn’t want to say that?

I went down to get a bowl of shredded wheat, with natural sugar and Head showed me here web site on the phone. It looks really nice, even on the phone. She is doing a great, awesome, fantastic job.

It has a twin peaks kind of feel too it .along with the werewolf.

I'll have to tell Mor. He is always looking for the next Twin Peaks.

140128

6:40am

Meditation done, living mindfully.

Filling my mind with SciShow. Learning about the atmosphere of planets.

Head is waking up. Rare. But there is a reason. She is going to take a continuing ed course in Ft. Worth.

Cold outside. Colder south of us. Weird huh? The whirling artic air went past us and is freezing Houston instead.

Crash Course is starting a new series, Phycology.

I browsed a crafter video. Too tedious but it looks like fun. I like the recycling focus of some crafting. Using everything and saving everything to make something else. I do that, when I use ink on a page, I use the left over ink on other pages.

Now I'm on to SciShow talking about logic 'Intuitive answers' are in more places than math. Math is the best example, but I see Mor's idea about group think going with the upgrade even though it doesn't really help the character. It’s an upgrade, right? It has to be better.

7:48pm

Tuesday evening.

In our room with Deano. Watching 'The Collection'. Dean and I struck a deal. He would help me make banana bread, and then we would watch the movie. I recommended the movie. Chef John recommended the banana bread recipe. Head asked for the sweet treat. She is having a hard day.

Why?

Well, she started her realty business because she had so much support from her friends, specifically Cindy Lou and Renee. Well, rather than all break off and go in business together, Cindy took a job with a big management firm, Renee stayed where she was. Cindy tried to arrange for Head to get a job at the same place. Head interviewed but didn't get an offer. Roane just got fired. Cindy got tired of commuting from Arlington to Dallas and decided to move. Only she didn’t' list her house with Head and she made and offer on a house and ...yep, didn't use Head. Head is devastated. One, if her friends don’t use her, what hope does she have of making a sell. And if she loses Cindy, well, she was counting on Cindy to promote her and send business her way. Whoa. A hit in the gut. She is in tears.

Two stiff rum drinks and she is feeling..not better, but numb. I used mountain dew, rum, and pineapple coconut juice. Two for her, two for me.

Diner? Spectacular. Although Head burned the navy beans, it was not a problem. I had hoped to make baked beans. Mor put half of a pork loin in the oven. Delish. I used the drippings to make turnip greens. Fresh turnip greens with a turnip diced in it. Opened a bag of Cole slaw and put out my favorite slaw dressing, poppy seed. A fucking great meal.

Food and drink. Sometimes it is all we need to feel better.

Mor and I went for a walk. A little chilly. PInto had to wear a sweater. I walked him to save Mor the embarrassment. We talked. About....about how people are selfish. It is human nature. Even when people think they are trying to help, they are doing more for themselves than anyone else.

Sad.

More is downstairs, I woud like to be watching a spurs game with him but he hasn't been promoting the sports and Deano asked me. Deano wins.

Work...well, I found out that middle management means you’re always in the middle. Either the bosses or employees are mad at your. That is if you’re lucky. If you’re unlucky, they are both pissed. Don’t count on them ever both being happy.

Today an employee hollered at me. Well, he doesn't write checks.

Head is watching 'The Biggest Loser'.

Tomorrow is another day. Thursday is my Birthday. Friday I'm off of work and, Unky MIke gave us great seats to the basketball game.

Parking pass included.

Going to get getter.

Could be worse.

9:14pm

Deano is listening to music. I have 'Hemlock Grove' playing. 'The Collection' might have been a little too Saw-ish for Deano. I’ll have to remember that when recommending future horror movies.

Our banana bread is gross.  It sucks. Overflowed. Made an ugly mess and ...bitter. We need to back up and try again.

140129

6:57am

Wednesday morning. Making the most of it. The only way I know how is to follow my habit. I must admit my electronic devices are really helpful in promoting my habits. They are habit tools, to coin a phrase.

Yet, they frustrate me when I wasn’t some in my family’s attention. Mor has his headphones on and is involved for an hour more. Head is constantly on her social network. Dean..He likes to play WoW or sit and listen to music and sing. So, my need for attention is minute compared to the comfort the devices bring my loved ones. I'm no there all the time and, like I said, I live my habit tools just like everyone else.

This morning has been meditation before the alarm went off. YouTube videos for the past hour. I still have one playing in the background. I found a new guy with ideas, Dan Ariely. A business psychologist.

I found him on a BigThink clip about self-control. His point, when it is something hard to do, hard to do because it is hard to do things now that don't have a payoff until the future, can be made easier by giving yourself an immediate reward.

Watch TV after you read. Finish a task, like exercise, and then have a piece of candy. Think about it. Think about it and then jack of. Hey, there might be something to this.

Dan A. thinks people made decisions based on how confusing and complex the options are. People don't like figuring it out or choosing.

When you don't know what you want, you are more vulnerable to outside influences.

I am not looking forward to the uncomfortable situations at work. Trying to get the staff to do what the bosses expect. It is impossible for me to make ti flow smoothly between the tow. Hence, my uncomfortable situations with both sides, sometimes simulantoesly. So when I think about it, my mind tries to find a way to control it. To make the employee fill out a schedule for the day to make Dean read for at least fifteen minutes a day. To make myself exercise and not get drunk.

Control.

There is a problem rather is control the problem or the solution? I don't think I know enough to figure it out but Elliot H. said to go with your balls, not your mind, only take a minute to look at what your balls are telling you. So ...why am I saying 'so' so much?

Now, there is another word for so, now, let me think about  if control is the answer or am I just creating more problem’s I think about the Tao, it says that the more one tries to control, the more devious the people who are trying to be controlled act.

Hello.

So control just makes me have to control more to offset their efforts to not be condoled

Is it time to threaten? Let the other person know what is expected, and include yourself in this, once the end result is clearly defined, let the person make their own decision to get it done or not. It's all on them. If you don’t get done what is expected, then these are the consequences.

Pull or push?

Let me think about it with my cooker, with Dean, and then with myself.

With the coworker, get the work out on time, it's up to you to ask for help, if you don't you will be written up; enough documentation will dink your ship.

With Dean, you know you could read and if you don't you'll be behind how can he see a future consequence? Maybe if I can get him to read to me, then immediately do something fun, that would motivate him.

With me, is need to live a healthy lifestyle but I don't always feel like making the right decisions. I can bear down, for bursts of time, and maybe I'll do the right thing the majority of the time. But I know I will never do the right thing the entire tie.

So I only get a rum and coke if I exercise? Do I get desert if I eat my dinner?

I've thought about it and I think know more than I did, but I haven't reached any conclusions. I’m going to continue thinking about it.

Let me know what you think.

No don't. I don’t want to be influenced. You think about it though, start figuring it out for you and I'll start figuring it out for myself.

OH my gad. Mind wants to have ....to continue this discussion with my boss. Figure this out. Get on board, cover some common ground. After I just said I wanted to figure it OUT for myself? After I just said I didn't want to be influenced? Wrong move. So why have that discussion? To control my boss. Like a dog to vomit I can’t keep from craving control.

Let it go. Let it go then build what you want. Let it go. Then rebuild. Throw it all in a pile then pick up what you want. Empty your drawer then put back what you want.

Hug someone you love, and dogs count.

7:29pm

Wednesday night. In Our room. In the recliner. 'Hemlock Grove' on the TV. Pushing it through the old phone. Chrome Cast is such a great invention.

Mor was asked, and declined, to watch Spurs v. Bulls. He is gaming. He is keeping to himself is what he is doing. That’s okay. I see him more than I would if he lived across town or across state, or across country. Deano had to go into work. He is dependable. He had a great day with Head. Head needed a diversion. She was there for him today.

I had a reasonable day at work.  

Tomorrow will be fun, an audit form my old friend Doug Berg from Detroit I need to write about him someday. He is a very interesting person. There ate a lot of people I need to write about.

Came home, went back to work to get my phone, and left it in my desk. It wasn’t that I was carcinoid someone would snoop, I need my electronics. I run them out of batteries several times a day and I have three.

Then....I took a walk. By myself. With Deano gone and Mor and Head having just exercised downstairs. Holly went with. Pinto was forbidden. He would get cold. Holly and I had a brisk walk. Invigorating. Home to make chicken noodle soup. I took every Tupperware from the frige to clean it out. I was glad to find out Deano had eaten the meatball sammie. Thanks. I heated up the potato waffles form Sunday. Mor and I ate them. the soup was great. I choose to eat leftovers. One, becasue there was some leftover spaghetti. Two, because soup always gets better with age. It will be twice a good tomorrow and twice as good as that the day after that. I enjoyed my walk a little more because I listened to another lecture on Hegel. This one was about the individuals. Discovery of the meaning of life.

Liked the part abbot each person tells the story of his life and makes sense of it and that, that right there is the meaning of life. What each life means.

8:22pm

Took a chance to make a snack, desert actually, between episodes.

Made a waffle. And I hugged Mor. He is gaming. And I hugged Head. She is watching 'American Idol', still on the auditions. Technically the entire show is an audition. But the first part is the auditions; the rest is the competition, the show.

I did like the way Keith Urban put it, that his opinion is just that. What he coaches on, Henry Connick might see as the best trait. Its opinion and opinion can come from the balls or the brain, right Elliot? What you think or what you've been taught.

Time to watch and eat that waffle.

9:32pm

Starting the third episode of 'H.G.' I still say more ‘Twin Peaks' than 'Twilight'.

I took advantage of this break, after checking on Head (listening to music in the living room) and Mor (gaming in the dungeon) to find my gift card. Head gave me fifty bucks to go buy work books at academy. I want that extra to buy any pair I want. I did get some gifts from the Pedrozas. Looking forward to opening them up tomorrow. They will be familiar, off my Amazon wish list.

What could it be?

Funny, I looked around for that gift card, no idea where it was. I noticed all my gifts are put away. So no hope of finding a cache and the card is part of the group.

No angst. I just kept looking at my most likely places. Even went through my wallet. And the last place I looked, because I stopped looking once I found it, was right on the TV table, with all my valuables. Picket knives, combs, where I put my wallet, things carried with.

I have my Idea catalog under this keyboard. I'll scribble in it. Maybe use the tablet to look for inspiration on the internet. My attention is on this show.

You're Next (2011)

I think it was a pretty good movie, when you choose something you haven't heard of out of Red Box, your taking your chances.

I do think the blender was too much, but otherwise believable.

When a gang of masked, ax-wielding murderers descend upon the Davison family reunion, the hapless victims seem trapped... until an unlikely guest of the family proves to be the most talented killer of all.

140120

6:44am

Monday morning.

Programming my mind to get ready for work. Listening to my YouTube subscriptions. Started the morning my meditation. It did me a great service. Meditation put me into the observer mode.

EH: Some people need to get fucked up. Crisis in order to rise.

EH is Eliot Hulse. He is giving advice on how to deal with a lazy bastard

Mor fits the profile perfectly. But I am not ready to set him straight right now. Mor knows what he needs to do. He is figuring it out. I have to believe he is aware and working on his own. If anyone needs to be thrown off the cliff into the lake, forced to learn to swim, forced to get shit done, it’s me. So until I have my shit under better control. I’m in a supportive, not assertive role with my loved ones.

Now on to Mr. Green, leader of the genome project...see Walt's business as being similar to the Human Genome project. It requires a group of scientists to come together to do a very focus and defined action, goals. With a single purpose I'm really wrestling with how to make Walt's project include me. All I do is avoid contacting him and at times, see it as a futile effort. But it has promise. And I could be fundamental to the project’s success...

Now The Vlog Bros SciShow...bug sex is interesting, queen bees secrete a saturated hydrocarbon that caused the insects around them become infertile. ..Wow...there is a story in there somewhere.

Minute with The Frugal Crafter. I was interested because she was working with sprays. She has a tool that held a felt tip and sprayed fluid over it, making it into an ink spray

Another SciShow about Leonardo Divinchi...codices...covering many disciplines of art and literature....the power of observation...ME!!

I will start calling my journals codexies. Compositions were so specific to the little books, half blank, half ruled. Hey, that's me, half ruled, half blank.

I am just full of analogies. That is the awakened observer. Observation requires comparison and contrast. So...observe on muther fucker.

7:33p Monday night.

Family home evening, minus the Latter Day Saints.

Deano and I are watching 'Supernatural'. He brought his dinner up here. I ate mine with Head and Mor. Dinnr? Delish. Fish sammies. Frozen fish, unfortunately. Kelly said I was better than that. Well, I'm not. I do not live on the coast so most...all of the fish I buy will be frozen.

Head is happily watching the Bachelor. Juan Pablo.  Mor has a new game. I'm sure he is playing Doda too. But he has another interest.

Elmer, the pool man, got the pool working. Pulled a big 'rats nest out. that is what he calls a tangle of leaves and sticks. He brought a pump, to such in the opposite direction than our pump. No luck. He had some contraption he built, rusty with age, which he went and brought back. It worked. Come to find out, it was probably my doing. I never turned the pump off when I emptied the leaf basket. So, a lot of leaves got sucked down on my account. Two hundred dollars later, we are back in business. Cheap for rate amount of time Elmer put in.

Beautiful day. cold front coming in tonight. It is a weather pattern that started at the artic, normally it circles the artic, the north pole. As part of the way it works, sometimes it makes a wider pattern, coming all the way down. Learned about tat on SciShow on YouTube. Thanks Hank.

I had a stress free day. Take those while you can get them.

John H, on the other hand is having one of the hardest days of his life...

When he suffers, Head suffers.

I didn’t get to take a walk tonight. I had to go get dogfood instead.

didn't know we were out yesterday. I also picked up some rice cakes because I've been forgetting them for Head. I found dome Greek probiotic yogurt and Trix on sale. Ohh, and pretzels for Mor. Dean likes the trix and me, I need the yogert for breakfast. Eating healthy and all that. I had leftover oatmeal. Leftover for what I cooked Sunday.

dinner, fish mammies on sesame seed buns. Big and fresh buns. Some frozen French fries. And my personal offering, fried zucchini. I picked a big of square up for a buck yesterday. It ate 'like a boss’. Dipped in ranch dressing, ohh my goodness.

I fried a couple of peppers too. MMMMMM.

8:43pm

'Lost Girl'. Canadian Buffy, remember?

Deano and I finished two episodes of 'Supernatural'. Sheryl is still watching the Bachelor Mor is focused on his game. Headphones on, jamming to rap music. I said in honor MLK Day, which is today. Mor said I was a racist. I am of a race, but not against other races, per se. The episode. The girls are putting a crash pad together in an old warehouse.

I can hear Deano singing.

Singing is good. Will it's too bad. Not that he sings well. But back to the point, he enjoys singing and it doesn’t' hurt anyone.

Shit noting to say...I will surf the net.

140121

55:43am

Tuesday morning.

Listening to Brian Tracy

I have started his 'Self Discipline' lecture. I think I made it thirty minutes in. I did that twice. Once by myself. Again with dean when I was coaching him.

So far of his nine principals, I have listened to three.

1. Time to think. An hour a day to think.

2. Write down ten goals every day.\3. Plan your day. A are critical. B. worth doing buy no consequences. C's are nice to do but no consequences. Start the first A every morning.

4. Courage. Conquer the fear of "I can’t". If you have a quality in mind, act like you already have that quality and before long, Aristotle says, you will have that quality.

" one day at a time...

5. Excellent health habits.

Eat less and exercise more...

The old phone I was using to listen to his lecture on YouTube died, right on cue. Now I can back up and write down those ten goals.

Goal number one, I can live a healthy life style by exercising every day.

Goal number two, I can live a health life by eating just what I need, in type of foods I eat and the quantity of the foods I eat.

Goal number three. I can show my family how much I love them.

Goal number four, I can earn my living today.

Goal number five, I can learn new things today.

Goal number six, I can conduct myself with quite dignity.

Goal number seven, an

140122

8:00pm

Wednesday night. Down in Mor's dungeon. He is playing another game. Something challenging his mind. Deano and Head are watching American Idol

I am trying to practice a little moderation.

The opposite of last night. All day I had quite dignity then I won some tickets to the hockey game? How did that change my life? Well I gave Mor and Deano the tickets. They went on the adventure. Head and I needed something to do so we sat at the bar at Applebee’s. I had three beers, she had two. We didn’t eat there. Head doesn't like the food. We picked up a bag of Mickey D’s. I loved my choice. Two cheeseburgers and a family fry. Pinto shared my fries. Head to   got a burger and a chicken sammie. She is now blaming it for giving her the bloody, yes bloody, shits.

She went to Ebby Holiday, a local realtor legend. They have a desk for her, for a hundred and fifty am month. I don't know what to tell her other than earn some fucking money. Well, I can’t really be saying hat. So, I have to realize I need to keep my job. If I lose it, we'll change our strategy but for now, let her do what she thinks will get her going. Let Mor do what he want. Let Dean do what he wants. And I'll try and use my time wisely. I have to admit that I am happy, for the most part. I am at Pease, at least. I am not really stressed at work. I am finally getting things done. For a while I was managing the lab and not doing any of my quality assurance things. I'd go a week and not get anything done. Now I'm just as busy, but I’m getting my quality things done. I wasn’t' getting any extra money for managing the lab so it's no skin off my dick.

Fight the power man.

I am really studying. Trying to learn all I can. And at home, I'm giving in to the writing and drawing. Trying to read more, watch less TV but there is a lot of good TV. I'm not going to bite the teat I've suckled for fifty years. I like TV. fuck me.

I also like beans and I made a really good meal for us out of a mess of pintos. I refried some, left some whole. More had a quesadilla with green chilies and serranos. He had whole beans and brown rice. Sherry wanted to finish her taco salad and have a tostado. Deano wanted a tostado and a chimi. I made several, half a dozen chimis. I put sharp cheddar, chipotle sauce with beans and brown rice. I had a tostado with some avocado on it and a chimi with everything on it. Sirachi, green chilies, lettuce tomatoes, sour cream. anything on the counter. I passed on the alcohol. Had plenty last night. The beer at the bar, a Mickey big mouth on the way over and vodka and seven before we left. And chips and crashers and a slice of bologna. A slice of bologna! What was I fucking thinking? That is when I knew I’d lost control of my day. So, today, I am regaining some of the dignity and control I desire.

Chimi = chimichanga

• According to one source,^[3] the founder of the Tucson, Arizona, restaurant "El Charro", Monica Flin, accidentally dropped a pastry into the deep fat fryer in 1922. She immediately began to utter a Spanish curse-word beginning "chi..." (chingada), but quickly stopped herself and instead exclaimed chimichanga, a Spanish equivalent of thingamajig.^[4]

some say you only have so much self-control and others say it's like a muscle, the more self-control you have the more you can get. Which is it? Is it a finite amount or can you have unlimited self-discipline?

There is no one I trust to tell me.

I think I'll go get in bed and read for w while. Reading g always makes me feel superior

Let it be man. Let it be. Get your mind around the reality of the day. Dig?

140123

7:10pm

down in Mor's dungeon. H and D are watching another night of American Idol Auditions.

Mor is shopping of r anew monitor. His is not cutting it. He hates that his phone is low quality, his Google chrome is low quality, so he wants to have his main thing with a decent view.

He didn't wash his hair today.

That is so like Mor.

He might be becoming a neck beard. No taco bell wrappers blowing around like tumble weeds yet. But after the hockey game, he bought D some, you got it, Taco Bell.

It has gotten cold has shit. But believe it or not it will be in the seventies on Saturday/Sunday.

I have an offer to borrow some passes to the Ft. Worth stock show. We can walk around. Not rodeo tickets.

He has concord what the players of DoDa call 'the burden of knowledge'. But he has knowledge I really don't need.

Like Italian political history. It's not hard, it is just a 'burden of knowledge'.

Dean needs to develop the habit of reading. He needs to read to be a student. Even if you don’t like to read for pleasure it is how information is transferred.

You need to read.

Why the fuck is my tablet not charged. I just unplugged it. It must not be plugged into the outlet or the outlet is turned off. That happens all the time. I wouldn’t be surprised.

Dinner: grilled ham and cheese and split pea soup. Good quality food.

I know last night I was ranting about hoarding. Not here, but in the Codex. Codex = composition,. but I don’t think I wasted the money. I bought things we need to eat Bell peppers, yellow and orange. Apples. Yellow squash. I got the bread I went in for. I picked up a loaf of French bread for tomorrows dinner. I have meatballs in the freezer. Bought mozzarella too. I did get a sixer of Mickey's , more to have something drink on the way home than to stock the fridge. I bought bacon. Surimi both because the price was right. Those will get eaten. Pace for Mor, he was complaining he was out and he won't write things on the list. Twenty five bucks later, I'm gone with almost more than I can carry.

Don't tell anyone, I bought a large box of sugar Cookie pop tarts for a buck, and some Christmas flavored Cliff bars for a quarter each.

Update: the poptarts sucked. Went right in the trash.

A bag of potatoes too.

Bananas. Did I mention apples. A bag of yellow apples. Should have bought them all to make apple butter. We are out.

I thought I’d make lava cakes tonight but I'll save that for tomorrow with the meatball subs.

Work kind of sucked. Just ta single incident spoiled the whole day. It’s never enough. You can bust your ass and disappoint or drag ass and disappoint. Either way....you got it, you disappoint.

I think it has something to do with the bosses not feeling in control. when they are a part of the process, when they have the feeling of control, things are what they are. When it's what someone isle is controlling, it doesn't measure. I know it is not wise to talk about work but I fucking work there so I can say what I bloody well want. I have an opinion. If not there, in my own journal, if nothing else.

Blutowski(sic) said it; you wake up and force yourself to shit so you can go earn money for someone else. 

“It was true that I didn’t have much ambition, but there ought to be a place for people without ambition, I mean a better place than the one usually reserved. How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?”

― Charles Bukowski, Factotum

  I wish you could patent style, then I'd have a patent on the way I wear my hat. It's called The Pop Up. But until I make a machine to fold the hats or sell the hats folded, there is no intellectual property. Just style.