After accidentally knocking her best friend off a roof, Alyce is haunted by guilt and delves into a brutal nightmare wonderland of sex, drugs and violence, her mind tearing itself apart along with anyone else who gets in her way.
This movie is not for the fainthearted… Or the saying.it is a bad movie because it is not done well but because it will warp your mind.… This is me Seymour.
1402109
8:07pm
Hanging
with Deano. Watching...supernatural...
Been down,
down, down in Mor's dungeon. Watching Spurs v. Pistons.
Head is
watching Bachelor She bought herself a bottle of wine. I took the opportunity
to ask for some mickeys’ while she was there. She had to go up and return the
RedBox.
We had a
pretty good dinner. I had a few chicken breasts on the bone. I deboned the
chicken and made some great sandwiches. Baked the meat with a layer of pepper
bacon on top. Avocado. Although H wanted fries. Mor nixed the idea. Not even
baked. So I went with green beans and tomatoes instead. The bones and skin was
boiled with celery and carrots. Need the broth for my next chicken dinner.
Baked chicken and stuffing.
Dean had a
good day, first at work and then taking his test. We'll pick up wherever he
leaves it.
Work was
nice. I took Jeremy a big taco...egg and potato taco. Mom and Dad put an envelope
with some money on it on my lunch box, for Jeremy, not me. I didn't look at it.
Not my business. Ten or a hundred. I don't know. I like not knowing. Now I
pitched in a hug so he would have good things in a group of three.
It is
getting colder, snow, ice maybe. I managed a walk with Holly. Too cold for. We
had a really peaceful time.
I got
myself all worked up during the walk. Worrying abut someday and what if.
I was sorry
about a future I can't control and when I get home, on the news, is a family
who left a shitty refugee camp to get some food.
It is all perspective.
Mor said it isn't right to be condescending to people we label as less
fortunate. That they are humans who can handle their own shit. And that us more
fortunate, well, we have problems of our own. Neither of us lives in hell.
Neither of us needs the other's pity. To pity someone is to make a Nobel savage
out of the. I tis saying they can't take care of themselves. Flashback to when
I found out it hurts a child’s self-esteem to say 'be careful'.
Where the
Fuck
It's been
over two weeks no.
I found
this place on Craig’s list. One state over from where I use to live. I live
here now. I am Captain of the Earth ship.
The rat
race had run its course. I worked. I came home. I ate six dollar hamburgers. I
watched DVDs all night and went to work an hour early, tired as hell, running
on a seven dollar coffee. I worked through lunch and didn’t quite at quitting
time. I thought it would advance my career.
I thought I
wanted a career.
All I
wanted was the paycheck.
I don’t
miss the work at all.
I
do..nothing. I find the most fun in the simplest thing’s every day I fuck
around with the plants for at least an hour. Just piddling around. And I watch
the bunnies play in their bunny pasture. The hippie, no, there haven’t' been hippies’
in twenty years, hipsters are the new hippies. The hipster I bought the place from
decided to become a ski bum. But he had his hipster friends build this earth
ship. Actually, I don’t' think he really wanted to settle down. He liked the
group dynamic of building first one place then another. He just hung around
until it became his time My hipster had his number come up so the group of
people who he helped build for had the group that would have a place built for
them next the place was build and he lived here until he found out that you had
to live here to keep an earth ship functioning. Actually live here, be here
every day He stayed as long as he did planting things like the bunny pasture.
Buying chickens. Doing the interior installs. Troubleshooting the small and
medium sized problems. Things that were installed broken or didn't work. He had
to tear down an entire wall. Best day of his stay, he said. Then the boredom
set in and he put the place on Craig’s list and started shopping for snow
skies. He's headed to Idaho. Best skiing. He's found a group of friends he had
hooked up with previously when he was into running marathons.
The hipster
likes groups. Hey, know thyself.
His revelation,
my escape
I was fucking
miserable. I live comfortably. Had all the toys. Did the cruise thing. Flew out
of town for every three day weekend. That got old quick. I wanted a dog to keep
me company but the coop didn't allow them in the building. Fourteen floors and
no room for a dog.
Now I have
two dogs, bunnies, and chickens. And I'm getting a horse. I want a horse
I have a
ling on a guy who sells to dude ranches in the area and I can find me a bomb
proof nag. If it can do more than trot I don’t want it. I want a laid back old
mare.
Hey, that’s
my mom you’re talking about.
I haven't
lost my sense of humor. I find that I crack myself u several times a day.
Maybe it
would have been different in the city if I had fit in. Probably not. We hit the
numbers often enough to keep myself employed but not enough to be catapulted
into the upper management ranks. I could see me doing this same job for the
rest of my life.
I got to
surfing the net on my over priced battle station. Six screens. Who needs six screens?
Willi have them and I'm not about to throw them away. I brought them wit. But
In the condo, I had them and nothing really to do. I really did like gaming so
I surfed Redditt until I got around to the sites with the hydroponics, the
organic gardening, the alternative living, the tiny houses, and earth ships.
I thought I
wanted a straw bale house until I say the earth ships. Only, I wasn't into dumpster
diving. Collecting wine bottles and cans for a year. Dragging home tires. They
wouldn't let me have a do, what would I put old tires? I had money in the bank.
I still have money in the bank, just less of it. I spent my money on
sustainability. On my earth ship and my website. I have a website where I sell second
hand books. I buy books and sell books entirely over the internet. I have an
employee who unboxes the books I buy and boxes the books I sell. All I do
is...buy and sell books. I mentioned that. I pay the employee. . Now that I
have it set up, the business kind of runs itself. I buy books. Automatically,
Anyhow.
That is how I make money. I really don’t touch much of the income. I don't need
much that the earth ship can't provide. Not that I’m growing all of my own
food, the bunnies are still bunnies and the chickens aren't laying eggs yet. But
food is cheap and I. What do I need to buy. I don’t need the horse. I just
want' one. The aquaponics tanks are full of tilapia. Tilapia and catfish. They aren’t'
doing very well. I need to learn how to take care of the fish. They are not as
easy as the bunnies.
I have a
steep learning curve but don't fret. Not yet. I have time to learn and money to
restock my tanks once I kill all these fish. Wish me luck.
There
aren't instructions for an earth shop. They are all different. I have to learn
certain technical skills to make it work. Hey, I didn’t' have to learn how to
build the place so my mind is free to
learn .I must need to forget sales first. I have time to learn. Sell, a little time.
The book thing won't last forever, I know that but it is up to me to develop
additional revenue streams. That is what they call it. 'Additional revenue streams.’
I'm in the biz so I just keep recreating new on line stores with new products.
But for the
immediate future, I have bunnies to grow. And the entire catalog of NetFlix to
go through. I'm thinking of putting a manifold in. But now I'm going to find me
a bed and crawl under the covers. I have three bedrooms. Big dog is in for the
night. Little dog is lying next to me, waiting to see which bed I choose. Off
we go.
NEW DAY.
AND I DON'T
PLANONGETTING OUT OF BED, UNLESS IT’S TO OVE TO ANOTHER BED. I have my phone.
My tablets. And snacks. Lots of snacks. Big dog wants out. Little dog I guess I
could put on some pants and go outside too...maybe tomorrow. Today I'm slothing.
I will roll farther than I walk. Jealous? This is not the kind of place for
someone who would build it. It requires a patient, lazy Lou. Once the hole has
been dug. Thanks hipster.
I do need
to bush my teeth. I have carpet growing.
140211
8:15pm
I came up
to do my thing. We were all doing our thing in the living room. Really a
strange and enjoyable evening. There wasn’t' any shows Sheryl wanted to watch
so Mor put the Chicago v. Atlanta game on. Then he played Gameboy. Head read
and social networked. I surfed on my tablet. Dean eventually came down, but he
was up in his room napping. He was writing, but like a true writer, he took a
nap. He did come down and hang out. He was too full to eat when dinner was
served, but it was still out so he ate and hung out. I made an easy meal. Mixed
veggies with rice and cheese casserole. A link of venison and beef smoked
sausage, salad, and a pot of white beans and bacon Head put together.
I brought
some toast and peanut butter up with me. It has become a habit. Last night I
brought crackers and peanut butter to bed.
It has been
a really great day. I woke up, meditating to Old Friend Dear Friend I listened
to YouTube, even in the bathroom. While showering and brushing my teeth. So my
mind is being crammed full of knowledge. Then, Ben goes home early form wok,
sick. Really sick. So I can put an ear bud in while I work. I spent the day
calibrating thermometers and reviewing data and well, all my normal shit. Only
I got to listen to my phone and a number of audio books kept playing. Chemistry
from The Disappearing Spoon, self-help form Happiness Hypothesis, more
self-help from Antifragility. And I actually read a real book. A textbook on
indoor air quality.
Tasty a
simple piece of toast can be. Simple is the name of the game.
My
mediation left me on a quest to just 'Be'. The Old Friend Dear Friend mediation
said it's the hardest thing to do. To just 'Be'.
Deano just
came in to tell me more about his story. He is being creative and it is no
surprise to me, knowing the boy like I do, that he likes to talk it out. God is
blessing me, He has provided more than enough patience for me to hear the boy
out. I must be..get it, 'Be'. II just don’t sweat it. I'm not anxious to do
something else.
Head is
writing her devotionals. Mor has his writing projects. It is really cool to see
us all expressing ourselves.
I thought
about writing and trying to include all of the information that came my way
today. Working Antifragility. Working William Crook, the man who discovers
thallium and selenium. And that guy who discovered Xrays, I can't spell his
name. He thought he was crazy. And those jerks in Utah who thought they
discovered cold fusion.
I am
excited about bringing more information into my stories. Have something to say.
Here's some
shit, I look at my texts and Pa texted me to stash his piss bottle. He left it.
What the fuck? The bathroom is less than five feet away. And he must carry it
around because it had a bag with it. I used it to slide the piss bottle into
and tote it to the trash. Ain't that some shit?
I'm
watching some cartoon, '''''''The Lucas Brothers'.
Pinto came
up with me. He is under his blanket, on his blanket. Sacked the fuck out.
Nighty night little man.
He missed
out on the walk tonight. Too cold for him. Holly and I did it. I put on enough
coats to where I had to open it.
Day is
Valentine’s Day. I'm thinking low key. Broke ass. Heart shaped pizzas and a big
candy bar each. None of that heart shaped bullshit. Candy in its truest form.
An oversized bar. I'm thinking Mr. Goodbar for me. A big bottle of wine. A
bottle of soda. Family game night. Mandatory family game night. Here’s a saying
I came across on the net I liked, "Families are like assholes, the tighter
the better'.
I might
have overloaded my brain. I think I'll finish my diet Dr Pepper, brush my
teeth, and take my niacin. And I'm going to pick up my dumbbells.
Hey, this
cartoon has what is obviously a Pabst Blue Ribbon beer can with the works Piss
on it. Well, the word ‘pisses'.
Man, life
is writing, the r is no wrong way to do it; unless you try to do it like
somebody else Writing is a unique experience, just like life. Snap!
110212
7:00am
Happy
Wednesday morning. I'm watching the Frugal crafter, although I don’t have an
interest in most of the crafts stuff, the arts advice is helpful. She is a
prolific poster. I've done my Dear Friend Old friend mediation and I have a
better understanding of what it means to be humble. You can't just 'be' unless you’re
separate from your ego your ego is always struggling and defending itself. So
you have to Be Humble. Don't feed the ego. Be something else. Be the observer.
Then you might catch the lesson in you meditation, or while reign or some other
item during your day. Make it an adventure, searching for your mental treasure
without a map. Looking for clues in the most unexpected places. Read a book
read a book read a mother fucking book. Or if your Dean, write a book, write a
book, write a mother fucking book.
Two YouTube
vids later, and they both have to do with information. The Big Think vid was
all about how we know things that are pushed on us, like Justin Beiber's
troubles with the law or Britney Spears not wearing panties. So, Hank thinks
our decision, actually many many decisions about what information we follow is
very important. Not only because of the distraction of useless information but
the harm of following negative information.
The Big
Think talked about the fact that information is so chaotic hat physicist use it
to study things like drops of water. Again, the random, mix of fact and fiction
of information that comes to us is unsettling to most of us. We don’t want
Now I'm
monitoring a vid on a large tiny house. Two lofts.
I like to
see the craftsmanship and the ingenuity of designing small spaces.
One more
comment about information. I visited with Head about how information is random
and she should start anything she reads with the work maybe. Specifically the
negative information about Obama care. Now she did get a good, as in known,
source for a problem someone had, not getting surgery under the new. Now,
further conversation is did he need the surgery? Or would another plan have
denied the surgery, with the Obama connection or not.
Time to
clock into the pudding factory.
11:00pm
In bed watching
'Killer Women', being the only Texas Ranger in a dress, she has her work cut
out for her. Found this gem on the Hulu channel. Believe it or not, this is a
current season series on ABC. I'll watch at least one episode.
I have to
be quite. Series might just be set in San Antonio.
It is a
really special time. I get to hide under the covers. The tablet on my bedside
table under a magazine, just an edge of the screen showing... It keeps the
light out of Pinto’s eyes.
The day,
since I clocked in this morning. Bathroom time. Made breakfast. Egg sammie for
Jeremy. A chicken and mustard on whole wheat for me. Add bbq sauce and spicy
pickles.
The weather
turned very pleasant. And it his snowing farther south. All the way to Florida.
Atlanta is snowed in. North Carolina is unprepared. And I didn't even button my
sweater on the walk I enjoyed with Head and the dogs. We trimmed Pinty's
toenails and I made dinner. Washed my hands before cooking for the record.
I made
stuffing and microwave spininsich. Heated up leftover green beans and tomatoes.
Hey, they
just mentioned miga on this show. Longhorns. Hill country.
Yep, San
Antonio.
Mor baked
chicken. His experiment with paprika didn't work as well as he hoped. I dipped
mine in velveta ranch dressing.
Dean is
chickened out. I heated up a leftover serving of cottage pie for him. He didn't
get any the other night.
Dean...Dean
surprised us all with treats. Valentines treats. Candy hears and a bag of mini your
peppermints fir Head. A regular snickers bar and a regular bag of peanut m and
m s for Mor. A bag of Butterfinger bites and a regular reeces for me. He bought
himself two bags of sour gummies. he loves the sour.
We ate
together. Mor and I watched Spurs v. Celtics. Dean and Head watched American
Idol. As it turns out, Idol was on last night too. It pissed Dean off and Dean
never gets pissed off.
It didn't
last long. He doesn't have much practice.
I hung out
until half time. Then I excused myself and came up to the Recliner and I can
watch YouTube on the TV if I use my phone. The old phone only pushes Netflix.
So I set myself up with the Bluetooth speaker the Pedraza’s gave me for Xmas
and played cartoons on the table. Played drawing tutorials on the TV. I
sketched a couple of things. My biggest accomplishment was to clean out the
middle drawer of the little set I took for Dean. I would have taken the drawers
with or without pens inside. It fits perfect on top of a crate as a table
beside the recliner. I have two crates, back to back with the drawers on top.
The drawer sits on top of the crates, which are bookshelves, and a lamp fits
too. A really functional arrangement.
I sometimes
feel silly writing about the little things in my life. The trivia. But one
should write about what one knows. And I know what I did today. It gives me something
to write about.
I tis a
story only I can tell. And one story is as good as another.
I listened
to Henry David T. last night. His audiobook about what a drag it is to work. I
agree. He figured a half day was enough to earn what one needed.
I wish.
I have to
write myself out. Or is it write myself in.? Am I emptying my mind or priming
my creative pump?
I'm back on
Ane's porch. I can stay up as long as I don't wake anyone up. I follow my
energy Sometimes I have energy in the morning. I wake up early and lave time
for myself. I have energy at night. I couldn't sleep just because I wanted too.
I will take the time when it is available
Jeremy had to
work extra to get some fish samples on. He texted me about nine saying he was
spent. I told him that he did fine and to go home. And he texted me back that
he appreciated me. I can’t tell you how that made me feel. He is a true hero. I
would have drown that boy in the bath and become a drunk. He is a strong, hardworking
selfless person.
II know God
is watching over him.
I watched
some fancy drawing on the YouTube. I just like to doodle. I fit doesn’t offend merit
is a success. Ina world of stress at is eating people alive, art can be a pleasant
distraction at the least, and it may be a mental vitamin.
Fifteen
minutes until midnight. I need to slide down farther under the covers and
140213
7:00am
Thursday
morning.
Hey, the
week is moving right along.
And I had a
late night and an early morning. Woke up before the alarm. My routine was
thrown off; I had to let the dogs out before the alarm went off. Head insisted.
So out they went and the coffee went on. I didn't way for a mug, jus tam back
and meditated. After meditating, I went back for the coffee, vitamins and wear,
not in that order. It was water, vitamins, and then coffee.
Sipped the
brew while watching Scission. All about hallucinations.
Whew! That
catches things up!
Big Think
is about technical advancements, forcing the creation of the hellabyte, creating
a new number jus to count the amount of information going around. 1. Moores
law, technology doubles for the same price every eighteen months 2. Datafication,
hence the need for the hellabyte 3. Recombination, marring technologies e.g.
driverless cars.
Art with the
Frugal Crafter. I found another artist this morning. So, I have added two my
list, one last night and another this morning. Last night I found a foreign
guy, French? With a YouTube channel called Fine Art. And Transient Art. TA
stopped abruptly two years ago. She has something going and it stopped. She
either has something new and didn’t really stop, or really stopped. A mystery.
Lindsey,
the Frugal Crafter's name, is such a happy soul. And she knows a lot she is a
professional artist. Not selling, which I believe she does at craft shows, but giving
local classes. Glad she shares to the larger audience on YouTube.
I have
waited too long to put together a card for Head for Valentines. But I will do
something. I'll find a quote and make a card tonight. I hope to get Dean back on
his studies. He took his test Monday, made a seventy percent, but hasn't gotten
back into it. His self-character in his creative writing is what he calls an
over achiever. I think he wants to be an over achiever.
I'll get him
up on my way out today.
She just
called herself an art supply hoarder. She doesn’t want to waste some of the
watercolor she has out, she is finding a place for it in her project.
Jennibellie keeeeeeps extra paper handy to catch the excess, making backgrounds
for future projects I’m doing that. I have several pages of backgrounds just
waiting or inspiration.
The FC had
some Intense Ink crayons. Ink in chalk form you can draw with and or paint
with.
On to Fin
Art Tips, caught his name Leonardo, Italian?
10:15pm
I am in
bed. Late for getting to bed. I can't say it is because I was super busy. I just
sat for the fifteen or twenty minutes before brushing my teeth and getting
under the covers. It was awesome. The day...work. Beautiful weather. Didn’t get
to walk because I had to to the grocery after work. Needed to pick up a prescription
and pick up something for dinner. I ended up getting dinner for tomorrow, pizza
and sangria. I also picked up detergent, laundry bags...etc...And I made sure I
left with
Okay
disruption. Head and Pinty are coming to bed. They are so...so spasmatic.
it's not a
real word. But it evokes the right description of these tow clowns.
So I left
the store with a little treat for each of them. Kettle potato chips for the
boys. An M&M snack mix for Head. Lottery tickets for all of them. Done. That’s
all you get. Suck on it. Enjoy. And not a gawd damn thing shaped like a heart.
Dinner was
a struggle. Not to make but to decide on. I almost went with the pork stir fry,
but I don't really like it. So I made hamburger po'boys. Not Head’s favorite. I
made mine extra spicy with Chile piquin mixed right in the meat. And I cooked
the meat in a hot oven on a rack to drain off all the grease. I used bollio
rolls instead of hamburger buns. Grilled mushrooms and onions in olive oil. Had
avacado lettuce, and tomatoes. It was one hell of a burger.
We ate
watching Idol. I went down after Mor to join him, but he was into his game so I
made my way to the recliner and sat down to get inspired to make a valentine's card.
I encouraged i.e. nagged Dean to study. He did. And he came in while I was
working on the card to show me some of the problems he was working on He seems
to have a pretty good handle on the basic concepts.
The card
got finished. It is under a stack of paper ironing out the wrinkles.
Doodled. Learning
how to use colored pencils,
Now...I
guess that about sums it up.
So let’s
get to some important stuff. Put on our thinking caps and come up with some
insightful comments. Relevant to our pursuit of enlightenment.
...nothing
yet.....don’t rush me...
I did get
to listen to my phone today. I did learn about Marxism and how it is the same
and different from Schopenhauer. You see, if I have it right, they both believer
there is no after life. This is it. You can't suck it up and hope for a better
gig later on. Now is all there is. Now Schopenhauer, lets shorten it S, S
thinks that life is a disease and it is best to pretend it is all ....well, to just pretend. To live in an
imaginary world you create in your head.
While our friend Marx said that you can't listen to the rich because
they will tell you anything to justify being rich, things like the best things
in life are free. Marx believes everyone deserves a chance to realize their
potential. Now, it is my talking here, it is my opinion that capitalism keeps the
workers under control by propagating the idea that anyone can jump from being
poor to being rich. It is like the lottery.
A lot like the lottery.
Where
Marxism breaks down is people have to be involved. They can’t be unbiased.
Mother Nature made us to take care of ourselves first.
Nope, you
can't be anyone you want to be because some politico’s son also wants to be the
same thing. No communism isn’t fair either.
Today I'm leaning
toward S.
Tomorrow it
the last days to save money on Valentine’s.
I did a
good job of just being today. Not a great job. I wasn't o some higher plane or
anything but I had a pretty good day. I worked. I treated people decent. I
enjoyed my family... I made a greeting card.
ziiiii drr
I seem to
be running out of gas. Best fo.......
These are my buttermilk honey butter biscuits. The ones on the blue plate have raisins in them. This is what I did to work for Valentines to share with coworkers.
