Alyce Kills (2011)

After accidentally knocking her best friend off a roof, Alyce is haunted by guilt and delves into a brutal nightmare wonderland of sex, drugs and violence, her mind tearing itself apart along with anyone else who gets in her way.

This movie is not for the fainthearted… Or the saying.it is a bad movie because it is not done well but because it will warp your mind.… This is me Seymour.

1402109

8:07pm

Hanging with Deano. Watching...supernatural...

Been down, down, down in Mor's dungeon. Watching Spurs v. Pistons.

Head is watching Bachelor She bought herself a bottle of wine. I took the opportunity to ask for some mickeys’ while she was there. She had to go up and return the RedBox.

We had a pretty good dinner. I had a few chicken breasts on the bone. I deboned the chicken and made some great sandwiches. Baked the meat with a layer of pepper bacon on top. Avocado. Although H wanted fries. Mor nixed the idea. Not even baked. So I went with green beans and tomatoes instead. The bones and skin was boiled with celery and carrots. Need the broth for my next chicken dinner. Baked chicken and stuffing.

Dean had a good day, first at work and then taking his test. We'll pick up wherever he leaves it.

Work was nice. I took Jeremy a big taco...egg and potato taco. Mom and Dad put an envelope with some money on it on my lunch box, for Jeremy, not me. I didn't look at it. Not my business. Ten or a hundred. I don't know. I like not knowing. Now I pitched in a hug so he would have good things in a group of three.

  

It is getting colder, snow, ice maybe. I managed a walk with Holly. Too cold for. We had a really peaceful time.

I got myself all worked up during the walk. Worrying abut someday and what if.

I was sorry about a future I can't control and when I get home, on the news, is a family who left a shitty refugee camp to get some food.

It is all perspective. Mor said it isn't right to be condescending to people we label as less fortunate. That they are humans who can handle their own shit. And that us more fortunate, well, we have problems of our own. Neither of us lives in hell. Neither of us needs the other's pity. To pity someone is to make a Nobel savage out of the. I tis saying they can't take care of themselves. Flashback to when I found out it hurts a child’s self-esteem to say 'be careful'.

Where the Fuck

It's been over two weeks no.

I found this place on Craig’s list. One state over from where I use to live. I live here now. I am Captain of the Earth ship.

The rat race had run its course. I worked. I came home. I ate six dollar hamburgers. I watched DVDs all night and went to work an hour early, tired as hell, running on a seven dollar coffee. I worked through lunch and didn’t quite at quitting time. I thought it would advance my career.

I thought I wanted a career.

All I wanted was the paycheck.

I don’t miss the work at all.

I do..nothing. I find the most fun in the simplest thing’s every day I fuck around with the plants for at least an hour. Just piddling around. And I watch the bunnies play in their bunny pasture. The hippie, no, there haven’t' been hippies’ in twenty years, hipsters are the new hippies. The hipster I bought the place from decided to become a ski bum. But he had his hipster friends build this earth ship. Actually, I don’t' think he really wanted to settle down. He liked the group dynamic of building first one place then another. He just hung around until it became his time My hipster had his number come up so the group of people who he helped build for had the group that would have a place built for them next the place was build and he lived here until he found out that you had to live here to keep an earth ship functioning. Actually live here, be here every day He stayed as long as he did planting things like the bunny pasture. Buying chickens. Doing the interior installs. Troubleshooting the small and medium sized problems. Things that were installed broken or didn't work. He had to tear down an entire wall. Best day of his stay, he said. Then the boredom set in and he put the place on Craig’s list and started shopping for snow skies. He's headed to Idaho. Best skiing. He's found a group of friends he had hooked up with previously when he was into running marathons.

The hipster likes groups. Hey, know thyself.

His revelation, my escape

I was fucking miserable. I live comfortably. Had all the toys. Did the cruise thing. Flew out of town for every three day weekend. That got old quick. I wanted a dog to keep me company but the coop didn't allow them in the building. Fourteen floors and no room for a dog.

Now I have two dogs, bunnies, and chickens. And I'm getting a horse. I want a horse

I have a ling on a guy who sells to dude ranches in the area and I can find me a bomb proof nag. If it can do more than trot I don’t want it. I want a laid back old mare.

Hey, that’s my mom you’re talking about.

I haven't lost my sense of humor. I find that I crack myself u several times a day.

Maybe it would have been different in the city if I had fit in. Probably not. We hit the numbers often enough to keep myself employed but not enough to be catapulted into the upper management ranks. I could see me doing this same job for the rest of my life.

I got to surfing the net on my over priced battle station. Six screens. Who needs six screens? Willi have them and I'm not about to throw them away. I brought them wit. But In the condo, I had them and nothing really to do. I really did like gaming so I surfed Redditt until I got around to the sites with the hydroponics, the organic gardening, the alternative living, the tiny houses, and earth ships.

I thought I wanted a straw bale house until I say the earth ships. Only, I wasn't into dumpster diving. Collecting wine bottles and cans for a year. Dragging home tires. They wouldn't let me have a do, what would I put old tires? I had money in the bank. I still have money in the bank, just less of it. I spent my money on sustainability. On my earth ship and my website. I have a website where I sell second hand books. I buy books and sell books entirely over the internet. I have an employee who unboxes the books I buy and boxes the books I sell. All I do is...buy and sell books. I mentioned that. I pay the employee. . Now that I have it set up, the business kind of runs itself. I buy books. Automatically,

Anyhow. That is how I make money. I really don’t touch much of the income. I don't need much that the earth ship can't provide. Not that I’m growing all of my own food, the bunnies are still bunnies and the chickens aren't laying eggs yet. But food is cheap and I. What do I need to buy. I don’t need the horse. I just want' one. The aquaponics tanks are full of tilapia. Tilapia and catfish. They aren’t' doing very well. I need to learn how to take care of the fish. They are not as easy as the bunnies.

I have a steep learning curve but don't fret. Not yet. I have time to learn and money to restock my tanks once I kill all these fish. Wish me luck.

There aren't instructions for an earth shop. They are all different. I have to learn certain technical skills to make it work. Hey, I didn’t' have to learn how to build the place so my mind   is free to learn .I must need to forget sales first. I have time to learn. Sell, a little time. The book thing won't last forever, I know that but it is up to me to develop additional revenue streams. That is what they call it. 'Additional revenue streams.’ I'm in the biz so I just keep recreating new on line stores with new products.

But for the immediate future, I have bunnies to grow. And the entire catalog of NetFlix to go through. I'm thinking of putting a manifold in. But now I'm going to find me a bed and crawl under the covers. I have three bedrooms. Big dog is in for the night. Little dog is lying next to me, waiting to see which bed I choose. Off we go.

NEW DAY.

AND I DON'T PLANONGETTING OUT OF BED, UNLESS IT’S TO OVE TO ANOTHER BED. I have my phone. My tablets. And snacks. Lots of snacks. Big dog wants out. Little dog I guess I could put on some pants and go outside too...maybe tomorrow. Today I'm slothing. I will roll farther than I walk. Jealous? This is not the kind of place for someone who would build it. It requires a patient, lazy Lou. Once the hole has been dug. Thanks hipster.

I do need to bush my teeth. I have carpet growing.

140211

8:15pm

I came up to do my thing. We were all doing our thing in the living room. Really a strange and enjoyable evening. There wasn’t' any shows Sheryl wanted to watch so Mor put the Chicago v. Atlanta game on. Then he played Gameboy. Head read and social networked. I surfed on my tablet. Dean eventually came down, but he was up in his room napping. He was writing, but like a true writer, he took a nap. He did come down and hang out. He was too full to eat when dinner was served, but it was still out so he ate and hung out. I made an easy meal. Mixed veggies with rice and cheese casserole. A link of venison and beef smoked sausage, salad, and a pot of white beans and bacon Head put together.

I brought some toast and peanut butter up with me. It has become a habit. Last night I brought crackers and peanut butter to bed.

It has been a really great day. I woke up, meditating to Old Friend Dear Friend I listened to YouTube, even in the bathroom. While showering and brushing my teeth. So my mind is being crammed full of knowledge. Then, Ben goes home early form wok, sick. Really sick. So I can put an ear bud in while I work. I spent the day calibrating thermometers and reviewing data and well, all my normal shit. Only I got to listen to my phone and a number of audio books kept playing. Chemistry from The Disappearing Spoon, self-help form Happiness Hypothesis, more self-help from Antifragility. And I actually read a real book. A textbook on indoor air quality.

Tasty a simple piece of toast can be. Simple is the name of the game.

My mediation left me on a quest to just 'Be'. The Old Friend Dear Friend mediation said it's the hardest thing to do. To just 'Be'.

Deano just came in to tell me more about his story. He is being creative and it is no surprise to me, knowing the boy like I do, that he likes to talk it out. God is blessing me, He has provided more than enough patience for me to hear the boy out. I must be..get it, 'Be'. II just don’t sweat it. I'm not anxious to do something else.

Head is writing her devotionals. Mor has his writing projects. It is really cool to see us all expressing ourselves.

I thought about writing and trying to include all of the information that came my way today. Working Antifragility. Working William Crook, the man who discovers thallium and selenium. And that guy who discovered Xrays, I can't spell his name. He thought he was crazy. And those jerks in Utah who thought they discovered cold fusion.

I am excited about bringing more information into my stories. Have something to say.

Here's some shit, I look at my texts and Pa texted me to stash his piss bottle. He left it. What the fuck? The bathroom is less than five feet away. And he must carry it around because it had a bag with it. I used it to slide the piss bottle into and tote it to the trash. Ain't that some shit?

I'm watching some cartoon, '''''''The Lucas Brothers'.

Pinto came up with me. He is under his blanket, on his blanket. Sacked the fuck out. Nighty night little man.

He missed out on the walk tonight. Too cold for him. Holly and I did it. I put on enough coats to where I had to open it.

Day is Valentine’s Day. I'm thinking low key. Broke ass. Heart shaped pizzas and a big candy bar each. None of that heart shaped bullshit. Candy in its truest form. An oversized bar. I'm thinking Mr. Goodbar for me. A big bottle of wine. A bottle of soda. Family game night. Mandatory family game night. Here’s a saying I came across on the net I liked, "Families are like assholes, the tighter the better'.

I might have overloaded my brain. I think I'll finish my diet Dr Pepper, brush my teeth, and take my niacin. And I'm going to pick up my dumbbells.

Hey, this cartoon has what is obviously a Pabst Blue Ribbon beer can with the works Piss on it. Well, the word ‘pisses'.

Man, life is writing, the r is no wrong way to do it; unless you try to do it like somebody else Writing is a unique experience, just like life. Snap!

110212

7:00am

Happy Wednesday morning. I'm watching the Frugal crafter, although I don’t have an interest in most of the crafts stuff, the arts advice is helpful. She is a prolific poster. I've done my Dear Friend Old friend mediation and I have a better understanding of what it means to be humble. You can't just 'be' unless you’re separate from your ego your ego is always struggling and defending itself. So you have to Be Humble. Don't feed the ego. Be something else. Be the observer. Then you might catch the lesson in you meditation, or while reign or some other item during your day. Make it an adventure, searching for your mental treasure without a map. Looking for clues in the most unexpected places. Read a book read a book read a mother fucking book. Or if your Dean, write a book, write a book, write a mother fucking book.

Two YouTube vids later, and they both have to do with information. The Big Think vid was all about how we know things that are pushed on us, like Justin Beiber's troubles with the law or Britney Spears not wearing panties. So, Hank thinks our decision, actually many many decisions about what information we follow is very important. Not only because of the distraction of useless information but the harm of following negative information.

The Big Think talked about the fact that information is so chaotic hat physicist use it to study things like drops of water. Again, the random, mix of fact and fiction of information that comes to us is unsettling to most of us. We don’t want

Now I'm monitoring a vid on a large tiny house. Two lofts.

I like to see the craftsmanship and the ingenuity of designing small spaces.

One more comment about information. I visited with Head about how information is random and she should start anything she reads with the work maybe. Specifically the negative information about Obama care. Now she did get a good, as in known, source for a problem someone had, not getting surgery under the new. Now, further conversation is did he need the surgery? Or would another plan have denied the surgery, with the Obama connection or not.

Time to clock into the pudding factory.

11:00pm

In bed watching 'Killer Women', being the only Texas Ranger in a dress, she has her work cut out for her. Found this gem on the Hulu channel. Believe it or not, this is a current season series on ABC. I'll watch at least one episode.

I have to be quite. Series might just be set in San Antonio.

It is a really special time. I get to hide under the covers. The tablet on my bedside table under a magazine, just an edge of the screen showing... It keeps the light out of Pinto’s eyes.

The day, since I clocked in this morning. Bathroom time. Made breakfast. Egg sammie for Jeremy. A chicken and mustard on whole wheat for me. Add bbq sauce and spicy pickles.

The weather turned very pleasant. And it his snowing farther south. All the way to Florida. Atlanta is snowed in. North Carolina is unprepared. And I didn't even button my sweater on the walk I enjoyed with Head and the dogs. We trimmed Pinty's toenails and I made dinner. Washed my hands before cooking for the record.

I made stuffing and microwave spininsich. Heated up leftover green beans and tomatoes.

Hey, they just mentioned miga on this show. Longhorns. Hill country.

Yep, San Antonio.

Mor baked chicken. His experiment with paprika didn't work as well as he hoped. I dipped mine in velveta ranch dressing.

Dean is chickened out. I heated up a leftover serving of cottage pie for him. He didn't get any the other night.

Dean...Dean surprised us all with treats. Valentines treats. Candy hears and a bag of mini your peppermints fir Head. A regular snickers bar and a regular bag of peanut m and m s for Mor. A bag of Butterfinger bites and a regular reeces for me. He bought himself two bags of sour gummies. he loves the sour.

We ate together. Mor and I watched Spurs v. Celtics. Dean and Head watched American Idol. As it turns out, Idol was on last night too. It pissed Dean off and Dean never gets pissed off.

It didn't last long. He doesn't have much practice.

I hung out until half time. Then I excused myself and came up to the Recliner and I can watch YouTube on the TV if I use my phone. The old phone only pushes Netflix. So I set myself up with the Bluetooth speaker the Pedraza’s gave me for Xmas and played cartoons on the table. Played drawing tutorials on the TV. I sketched a couple of things. My biggest accomplishment was to clean out the middle drawer of the little set I took for Dean. I would have taken the drawers with or without pens inside. It fits perfect on top of a crate as a table beside the recliner. I have two crates, back to back with the drawers on top. The drawer sits on top of the crates, which are bookshelves, and a lamp fits too. A really functional arrangement.

I sometimes feel silly writing about the little things in my life. The trivia. But one should write about what one knows. And I know what I did today. It gives me something to write about.

I tis a story only I can tell. And one story is as good as another.

I listened to Henry David T. last night. His audiobook about what a drag it is to work. I agree. He figured a half day was enough to earn what one needed.

I wish.

I have to write myself out. Or is it write myself in.? Am I emptying my mind or priming my creative pump?

I'm back on Ane's porch. I can stay up as long as I don't wake anyone up. I follow my energy Sometimes I have energy in the morning. I wake up early and lave time for myself. I have energy at night. I couldn't sleep just because I wanted too. I will take the time when it is available

Jeremy had to work extra to get some fish samples on. He texted me about nine saying he was spent. I told him that he did fine and to go home. And he texted me back that he appreciated me. I can’t tell you how that made me feel. He is a true hero. I would have drown that boy in the bath and become a drunk. He is a strong, hardworking selfless person.

II know God is watching over him.

I watched some fancy drawing on the YouTube. I just like to doodle. I fit doesn’t offend merit is a success. Ina world of stress at is eating people alive, art can be a pleasant distraction at the least, and it may be a mental vitamin.

Fifteen minutes until midnight. I need to slide down farther under the covers and

140213

7:00am

Thursday morning.

Hey, the week is moving right along.

And I had a late night and an early morning. Woke up before the alarm. My routine was thrown off; I had to let the dogs out before the alarm went off. Head insisted. So out they went and the coffee went on. I didn't way for a mug, jus tam back and meditated. After meditating, I went back for the coffee, vitamins and wear, not in that order. It was water, vitamins, and then coffee.

Sipped the brew while watching Scission. All about hallucinations.

Whew! That catches things up!

Big Think is about technical advancements, forcing the creation of the hellabyte, creating a new number jus to count the amount of information going around. 1. Moores law, technology doubles for the same price every eighteen months 2. Datafication, hence the need for the hellabyte 3. Recombination, marring technologies e.g. driverless cars.

Art with the Frugal Crafter. I found another artist this morning. So, I have added two my list, one last night and another this morning. Last night I found a foreign guy, French? With a YouTube channel called Fine Art. And Transient Art. TA stopped abruptly two years ago. She has something going and it stopped. She either has something new and didn’t really stop, or really stopped. A mystery.

Lindsey, the Frugal Crafter's name, is such a happy soul. And she knows a lot she is a professional artist. Not selling, which I believe she does at craft shows, but giving local classes. Glad she shares to the larger audience on YouTube.

I have waited too long to put together a card for Head for Valentines. But I will do something. I'll find a quote and make a card tonight. I hope to get Dean back on his studies. He took his test Monday, made a seventy percent, but hasn't gotten back into it. His self-character in his creative writing is what he calls an over achiever. I think he wants to be an over achiever.

I'll get him up on my way out today.

She just called herself an art supply hoarder. She doesn’t want to waste some of the watercolor she has out, she is finding a place for it in her project. Jennibellie keeeeeeps extra paper handy to catch the excess, making backgrounds for future projects I’m doing that. I have several pages of backgrounds just waiting or inspiration.

The FC had some Intense Ink crayons. Ink in chalk form you can draw with and or paint with.

On to Fin Art Tips, caught his name Leonardo, Italian?

10:15pm

I am in bed. Late for getting to bed. I can't say it is because I was super busy. I just sat for the fifteen or twenty minutes before brushing my teeth and getting under the covers. It was awesome. The day...work. Beautiful weather. Didn’t get to walk because I had to to the grocery after work. Needed to pick up a prescription and pick up something for dinner. I ended up getting dinner for tomorrow, pizza and sangria. I also picked up detergent, laundry bags...etc...And I made sure I left with

Okay disruption. Head and Pinty are coming to bed. They are so...so spasmatic.

it's not a real word. But it evokes the right description of these tow clowns.

So I left the store with a little treat for each of them. Kettle potato chips for the boys. An M&M snack mix for Head. Lottery tickets for all of them. Done. That’s all you get. Suck on it. Enjoy. And not a gawd damn thing shaped like a heart.

Dinner was a struggle. Not to make but to decide on. I almost went with the pork stir fry, but I don't really like it. So I made hamburger po'boys. Not Head’s favorite. I made mine extra spicy with Chile piquin mixed right in the meat. And I cooked the meat in a hot oven on a rack to drain off all the grease. I used bollio rolls instead of hamburger buns. Grilled mushrooms and onions in olive oil. Had avacado lettuce, and tomatoes. It was one hell of a burger.

We ate watching Idol. I went down after Mor to join him, but he was into his game so I made my way to the recliner and sat down to get inspired to make a valentine's card. I encouraged i.e. nagged Dean to study. He did. And he came in while I was working on the card to show me some of the problems he was working on He seems to have a pretty good handle on the basic concepts.

The card got finished. It is under a stack of paper ironing out the wrinkles.

Doodled. Learning how to use colored pencils,

Now...I guess that about sums it up.

So let’s get to some important stuff. Put on our thinking caps and come up with some insightful comments. Relevant to our pursuit of enlightenment.

...nothing yet.....don’t rush me...

I did get to listen to my phone today. I did learn about Marxism and how it is the same and different from Schopenhauer. You see, if I have it right, they both believer there is no after life. This is it. You can't suck it up and hope for a better gig later on. Now is all there is. Now Schopenhauer, lets shorten it S, S thinks that life is a disease and it is best to pretend it is all  ....well, to just pretend. To live in an imaginary world you create in your head.  While our friend Marx said that you can't listen to the rich because they will tell you anything to justify being rich, things like the best things in life are free. Marx believes everyone deserves a chance to realize their potential. Now, it is my talking here, it is my opinion that capitalism keeps the workers under control by propagating the idea that anyone can jump from being poor to being rich. It is like the lottery.  A lot like the lottery.

Where Marxism breaks down is people have to be involved. They can’t be unbiased. Mother Nature made us to take care of ourselves first.

Nope, you can't be anyone you want to be because some politico’s son also wants to be the same thing. No communism isn’t fair either.

Today I'm leaning toward S.

Tomorrow it the last days to save money on Valentine’s.

I did a good job of just being today. Not a great job. I wasn't o some higher plane or anything but I had a pretty good day. I worked. I treated people decent. I enjoyed my family... I made a greeting card.

ziiiii drr

I seem to be running out of gas. Best fo.......

These are my buttermilk honey butter biscuits. The ones on the blue plate have raisins in them. This is what I did to work for Valentines to share with coworkers.