He Never Died (2015)

Jack, a social outcast, is thrust out of his comfort zone when the outside world bangs on his door and he can't contain his violent past.

2017 December 12

11 AM

Thursday

Holly and I are out for a walk. There you are passing a neighbor’s house where they have had their dog out on a chain and yes it works for them

the dog appears to have wrapped himself around a tree. What works for you doesn't always work.

Holly is being given a short walk by herself. She tires easily these days. But she would sign up to walk all day if you asked her. Her favorite thing is to get belly need in dry leaves… The leaves that collect in the gutter… And looked around and sniffed until she has to take a crap.

It is an absolutely beautiful day. The weather is perfect. I would be wearing shorts if I had not packed all of my summer clothes. Sometimes I forget I live in Texas. A delay, holly has just Started to sniff begin.

When the sniffing degrades into licking that is where I draw the line. Time to move on.

I am taking a day of in lieu of pay from the laboratory. It is a more than fair trade. I have been spending too many hours of their and now that there is a low in the war… We all hope it is a low.… If not, I will have spent my one day a week wisely… Keeping mold business alive.

I guess I should be more worried than I am. But compared to what's ahead at work today is not my biggest concern I save my worry or an impoverished retirement and a crippling visit terminal disease.

Holly is stopped, just to flex her asshole as far as I can see, … No was just relieving the pressure so we could walk closer to the only person we have saying and she can take a crap in front of him. It was a good dog? Holly is a good dog.

There is no one but how do I know in the middle of a weekday. I am practicing to be an old person.

In less than a block I will drop Holly off the house. I hope I remember to go in and use of nose spray. I cannot breathe.

And then I will decide whether or not to bring in tow along for the continuation of my walk. This is how will will will will will will will will will call on this car is a thought without those doors is is is is is that I thought of what our club better on tests

editor is and how he is as long as you go off and I got my no spray but not Pinto.

I am out for a walk on my own.

I see one of my neighbors is getting a full pipe replacement to the road. I wonder how far they had to dig under the house. I spent a fortune… What little I had accumulated… How quickly it goes away. That's old news.

I am more or less using today as a transition day. There are several things I want to do. But things I need to do. One or two things I have to do. But nothing that can't wait.

I am attacking the easy things on my to do list. Mostly piddling around, taking a walk, and going to the grocery store. My love may not wait for me to go to the grocery store before she gets hungry enough to get cleaned up and dressed. Then we will go out and eat.

Let me put this down and I think of it anymore. Somehow we always gets… Becomes a mind warm. Today it was an obvious ruse for him to go for a walk. Whom goes for a walk dressed up and cleaned up. The boy is a slog. Obviously he is meeting someone either Ebro Manse or a roll mats. If Shady is how he makes it his own that he can be as shady as he wants to be. Try as I might, I always end up being his excuse… Or at least I feel that way. It is his life, and I need to move on.

A coworker, gray bowling… Mold were, shared a similar situation. His younger brother dropped out of school in eighth grade and has not held a job since. He sells plasma for cigarettes. Both of the boys live with their parents. Almost too much for a parent to bear. I am not a nihilist, but I do not believe that procreation is our soul intent at this point. I do not believe bringing children into this world does anything but hurt the society. And don't give me the next child could find a cure for cancer because of plenty of next child's and albeit next child whether Richard minors someone else's I'm just saying it would be easier to survive and provide if you did not have those attachments. Because trust me I questioned whether or not those attachments make life worth living. It would take a hell of a lot more than that to just by the experience of living and dying on earth.

He says into a digital recording device which you will use to create a blog on the World Wide Web… Things ain't so bad after all.

A man should always have one pair of athletic shoes he uses it exclusively for exercise. It is a mindset thing.

They said it should rained during the night. It looks like the rain will be here later this afternoon.

What are we doing…

Nothing

want to do…

Nothing.

when we get to do it…

Never.

who do I do it with…

Not you.

this is the first walk I have taken in… In a couple of weeks… But I have not walked once a week for over a year. I walked a little at absolute lab but nothing regular.

I would love to have a day where there are no problems. Were the problems go away for just one day. Problems are part of life. There is no need to assess and think it over and over and over again… That will not change anything.

Okay so let's talk this out

so I accept Wheat for who he is and what he is.

How does that look?

How does that chapter read?

When I think of how we will interact… It looks like we both do our own things. There are only awkward moments when he or more rarely me, try to connect. There's nothing to hold onto. He is my son he lives in my house but he is not a close confidant of mine.

Me as his. So I will politely ignore his need to lie and scheme and I will focus my attention on other things. The best I can do is not drawn attention to any faults real or perceived, nor should I be a cheerleader… We are all on our own is the lesson for us both.

Will will will will will

I am at the halfway mark of my walk through what means Dean call the rich neighborhood also known as the cul-de-sac. The cul-de-sac, where I met, is that halfway point. As

no worries has replaced don't worry about it or the East Coast version forget about it in American slang… Do you want to know a secret to happiness… Of course she did… Don't tell anybody anything. They either don't care or will use it against you. I spent my entire childhood trying to ingratiate myself with funny stories and jokes and gossip and I continued far longer than it should've. It still happens but I detested.

… And that cat was cool because he never said a mumbling word… Thank you Hoyt Axton

I have not had occasion to use the voice recorder in… Far too long. I kind of miss it. People in the neighborhood might think I'm crazy. Just like people on the freeway saw me using it on my daily commute probably thought I was half off my nut. Madam there is no doubt about it. Today I had an idea to de-clutter my life specifically my closet specifically my wardrobe… By throwing away anything that was ripped or came out of the laundry stain. I didn't think it very far. That would cut way too deep. I will go as far as to keep the ripped rule in effect. If it's ripped throw it out. But the stains… I will allow exception for bleach stains on my work pants. They are on of voidable.

Cigarette dogs of World War I

Socializing

socializing

the problem with meeting people in social situations is that they assume that you are a social person. We meet people in and they always want to get together and be not so much. I barely have time for myself. The same way that Sheryl gets enough… That is satisfies her extrovert nature by dealing with people all day… Then she is comfortable to be an introvert with me the rest of the time. For me, I get enough people with the socializing I have to do for her sake. I am not looking for these introductions to become relationships. One of my loves friends is trying to blackmail her saying she cannot commit to a dinner date between the two of them until I am available to babysit her boyfriend. Basically that's what it comes down to. The guy talks nonstop about either his money and things or bitching. I just do not have time for that motion.

And don't get me wrong, I see, or believe I see, the same situation in reverse between myself and other individuals. Individuals that I reach out to that have little or no interest in a relationship with me. You can be the sweetest peach on the Tree but some people just do not like peaches. I do not take it to be offensive. I am glad they gave subtle hints that could be perceived and acted upon without any further irritation to all parties involved.